I really miss talking

Ok i know it seems and sounds weird but its not about missing talking but miss talking with someone.

Its been sometime since we had a face to face conversation cause for a long time it was just short talks, very short talks, its like hi bye kinda thing and usually us guys are very arrogant and trying to act cool, we guys are like you wanna talk talk, you dont want to talk, i dont care BUT i cant do that, its just not me, cause somewhere inside of me really wants to talk with her again.

Its hard to start back communication because it would be awkward for both of us, its like out of the blue we suddenly start talking to each other again and of course i will be at a loss for words and topics to talk on, then it would be like the movies where there would a moment of awkward silence, just looking around cause we will be lost and confuse.

One thing i learn is that some girls are not very open like guys who at anytime would try to keep the flow going on but girls once they freak out or know your there, they would rather head for their friends and its ok because you cant blame her if she is scared or confuse, normal human reaction but i really want to talk with her again, it would be nice to have a conversation again.

Its never gonna be easy and of course there will be more efforts and trying to do but i will have to be patience and like a friend of mine told me there must be a point to start and you need to start in a group conversation.

As much as i miss and really want to just talk with her again, there are barriers i must respect and rules to abide by but one things for sure i got to be confident and not so negative towards myself, trust in my confidence and self esteem and of course we must first learn to love ourself before we can love others.