Have you looked in the mirror lately?

Being a Paramore fan, i really liked their latest album "Brand New Eyes" which have a picture of a wall filled with empty picture frame on the back cover, talk about creativity and perceptions, love it when they do that, but what strike me the most, the one thing that really make the back cover standout was not only the great idea, concept and beauty behind the album, the songs and photography, its the one picture frame in the middle with the mirror which Hayley looks into in the video "Playing God"

It really struck a chord in my mind, it got me thinking.

"Have I/You been looking into the mirror lately?"

Its not just about looking into the mirror and seeing that one look of us in the mirror, the mirror really reflect not just your looks, the mirror shows the soul, the body, the being and all that we are if we look closer. I don't know about you but everytime i look into the mirror, i don't just think about my tidy and cleanliness, i think a lot about myself and where i am, who i am, what i am doing. Guess the mirror is more than just a vanity affair huh?!

What do you think? I don't know about you but i just have something inside that waiting to burst out, its like i want to do something more in my life, i feel i can do so much more, can be so much better, it just wants to reveal all the potentials i have, wanting to achieve my dreams, have you ever have that ache? And then you feel so inspired, so comfortable, so happy, so relax, so enjoyable, so entertained, so amuse, you feel so great about yourself because its just your place of dreams, a place where you can do what you've always want to do. A place where you can be your true self and shining out bright. I always have than burning, that desire, that passion, those great dreams for me and others.

But then it all stops short once reality sets in, the mirror no longer becomes a place of joy but a place of despair and lost hope, you look into it and finally realize, its all just a dream, you've tried it all before, you've put in all the passion and everything just stops short, you look into the mirror once again and realize you've gain none of the dreams you've dream, never done anything you've said you would, never gone the distance even when you've tried.

So "mirror, mirror on the wall; whose that person on the wall?"

" You! A person who is able to reach its dreams and potential, I've seen everything in you, its beautiful and great, now go and live the dream"

An amateur songwriters confession

With a guitar in hand, a piece of paper on the floor, guitar pick on the ear, mp3 by the side, pen on the other hand, humming to tunes in my head, and a whole lot of thinking, wondering, writing, playing and the process goes full cycle everytime.

Not many will know but i do write songs but as far as i know, i am an amateur maybe even worse but not proven until my songs finally get sung out and recorded. I recently took up this hobby 3 years back when me and some friends formed a band and then since we've been brainstorming for some songs and eventually end up with me thinking a lot of lyrics but not tune. Sadly however the band slowly died off by itself with each band member having to fulfill some responsibilities in life, my heart sank not knowing whether i will ever achieve my first recorded album with a band and at that time it was crucial for my band mates to come up with the tune of the song so i can fill in with the lyrics but back then i have to say "It was not good at all" on my part.

However years passed and i took up the guitar, slowly picking up the chords, sound and music that can be played, opening my mind to the music world and out came a different me, a more alert and creative songwriter with the ability to come up with the basic tunes to bring out the bare essentials for the song HOWEVER! there are more hurdles to overcome.

One confession is that the tune somewhat would have a similarity due to lack of rhythmic creativity and chord knowledge, let it be alone mastering the guitar at a master level. But i never stop to amaze myself, coming out with a tune that actually can be sung. "0OH FINALLY"

Another confession would be that the songs written out must come by inspirations and not by own strength or creativity, a word triggers the purpose and passion, from there on things take flight, but its never a overnight process, it constantly requires changes and innovation to make the song sound good and favorable to the listeners ears.

One last confession i have to say as a amateur songwriter is that there will always be a load of stress and doubts. I quote "An amateur never truly fully understands or know half the time what he is doing, he just goes with the flow, one true character of an amateur" The doubt and stress comes from the uncertainty i have in myself on the songs I've written, i mean who am i with no knowledge of chords or rhythm or rhyme or musical creativity to come up with songs that people will like but at the end of the day the dream of having my first album and looking on at other bands and how they made it from scratch drives me on to complete my first album :)

What is your perspective of life?

I Like a post on facebook that i stumbled upon today, it wrote and I quote

" When we are single, all you see are happy couples;
When we are committed, all we see are happy singles"

Such a truth in this quote and i was just thinking about it when most of the day i would stumbled upon people and friends who just like to announce to the world of their relationship and post up all the great things about it, then there sat me the single man thinking about all my friends who are coupled and how wonderful the life they have being in love but nevertheless being normal humans that we are we always forget to "look both ways"

After contemplating, fantasizing and remembering past experiences, somewhat this two simple lines just pops out like in front of my face and gives me a wake up call, reminding me to be contempt with where i am, the condition i am in and the life i am living now, not neglecting the life we can live out now and feeling disappointed over not having a relationship, many writers would see love as suffering and pain but lets not let that emotion take too much of us and love out loud and let it come our way. Don't chase after false illusions.

Nevertheless one must remember that life is short and days are getting longer, burdens getting more and the world turning upside down as it is. The challenge we face daily is to always move up the ladder of life, we are never satisfied with what we have or where we are thus making us always wanting the next level, but when we reach that next level, we want so more. One moment we are single, we want to get coupled; when we are coupled, we want to get married; When we are married, we want children; when we have children, you cant wait to see them off; In the end you forget to enjoy every moment of the journey and all you remember was wanting to move on, always moving on, that is all.

I've learn very well from my mentors and friends that "One must learn to enjoy the moment where he is before moving to another moment, this way he truly embraces the moment" and it always took the hard way for me to learn things but in the end it was worth the tears and heartache to grow and mature. Think about where you are today, rethink what your perspective of your life is now and go out there and embrace every moment you have cause the next thing we are standing on heavens gate.

My friends, as a youth, we are all full of zeal, passion and energy, we always strive for more in life, we always strive to move forward, which is good but use it to further excel the state which you are in and when you move on to another level in life, you would look back and said i have never wasted any moment nor regret leaving that moment. I pray that our days would be filled with joy and happiness that you can embrace and enjoy, I pray for patience in life and contempt of what we have, but most of all may our life be one lived out loud and to the fullest.

What is your perspective of life?

Success

Today at the gym, I met a normal gym goer, we've been talking for sometime just that i never knew him in detailed and i found out that he is handsome, got a job, got a great body, got a good life, got a fiance, well the way i see it is that he is successful.I have to admit i was envious, he had enough for his whole life, went to college, got a job, got a girl, got the looks, got the body but I would've never know how far it took him to get to where he is but one things for sure is that he didn't have to endure Form 6 even this dude which was i thought was smart said form 6 is tough and he wish me all the best in getting in the local u, that proves just how much work and effort is needed for form 6 but would it be any easier in college? I'll never know.

Back to the topic on about success, I had in my mind one word when i was talking to my new found friend "SUCCESS!" yes that one word which Dexter would yell out at the top of his lungs when his invention worked in the cartoon. Then it got me thinking and weighing the options in my life, whether i can achieve what my friend had, somehow he sort of shaped out what i would want to achieve when i start working which i think would not be any different than any eager young blood. Yet how do we weight success? Is there any criteria to concluded whether one is success or not?

Success can never be categorized as a whole, we can never say we are success in a whole, every person has a "blocking wall" in life but success comes out of not only what we posses, not only what we achieve, not how many figure we have in our bank, not many kids we have, not only the job we hold but the way we are living out our life. Why would i say my friend is success, well materially he has enough but he might think otherwise, maybe he has not achieve the job he wants. So success is based in the way you are living and how you perceive success as

It can be merely based on material gaining, you have the "5C's" the criteria which many would set for their partner! CASH! CAR! CONDO! CREDIT CARD! well i can remember 4C's! Many people would view this needless to say this blogger as well. When we get our first car, our first pay, our first salary, our first spending, we feel the surge of satisfaction or as we call "Success" when we finally posses what we want, when we want and with our own money. Some people get it easy, they have their parents to buy for them but this blogger does not have that privilege of getting everything he wants, there is a limit to getting what i want but parents do feed us and always take care of us, no harm trying to ask but be careful what you wish for.

Success can only be measured in our achievements, something in life we work hard to gain, get it, win it and we feel the glory behind it all, feeling the success of achieving the goal we set. The harsh reality is that not all things go as plan but give your best and we will never go wrong.

Nevertheless, "success" is a really big word and it is a big big world out there, at one point we would reach a age where we would start working, start planning out the big life we have ahead but this the way i see it, success doesn't comes from short cuts but from giving it your best, when you work the best you can, success follows along. Success comes with the benefits of enjoyment and pleasure in life but it always comes with hard work, planning and opportunity in life.

So are you success in life? Yes or no, living out your life daily is already a success!

Remembering Happy, My best friend :)

Today i stumbled upon the movie "Marley and me" The movie really touched my heart and remind me of my own Dalmatian dog whom also passed away of old age. He was with me for more than 10years, from the day i enter high school to the day i left to further my study, he was always there and i really loved what Owen Wilson said at the end of the movie.

A dog don't care if you're rich or poor, clever, dull, smart or dumb...give him your heart and he'll give you his."
"How many people can you say that about?"
"How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special?"
"How many people can make you feel extraordinary?"

Truly whatever was said in those lines is true to the day Happy left this world for a better place, He never ever made me feel any pain at all when i come home, just the sight of him when i come home really puts a smile on my face, he was always there to cheer me up when i was down, he was always there for pats, hugs and kisses. I just wished I could have given him more, given him a better life, given him much more before he left, loved him more and show him that i love him too.

Dear Happy,
I know you are up there in heaven, a better place than here. I never got to say "I love you and i am sorry for all the pain i caused to you, I never got to say how special you are to me, how great of a friend you are to me and you will always be in my heart" Till the day we meet in heaven, you will always be right next to my heart and i will never forget you. Thank you for making my days so much better, thank you for showing love when none cared, thank you for everything. Truly you are my best friend. Rest in peace Happy and i will meet you there one day. I love you.

Pushing On!

Today i had the "privilege", actually i would not say that after considering how many times i have been in this state. Most if not many will know when i say "B.R.E.A.King P.O.I.N.T" I am sure you would understand that state which we are in when we just cant handle the stress or the pressure anymore.

That was what i felt today and finally realize it after such a long time and many times of experiencing it, and the first thing that went through my mind was " I WANT OUT! I WANT TO QUIT!" No more gym, no more weights, no more cardio, no more running, no more cycling, no more pain staking exercises, no more! and it happens when we're half way there, when we're at the last few moments and we just don't see it, all we see and feel is the disappointment and pain.

That was only the point when everything just starts to flood in, emotions start to flare and anything and everything negative, you think about it and forget about all the good things, it is common when we are in that point. That is how athletes, professional sportsman, or even a normal guy or girl would feel once in a while, we all have our breaking points no matter how tough we are.

That is why we can never question the way a drill sergeant, a coach or even a teacher teaches their players or students, they nag,nag,nag,nag,nag and oh yeah NAG so more to the point where you feel like fighting back or want out but they do it for a reason, they don't just do it because they like it, OK giving the doubt of the benefit, some do but those are psychos, a little bit not right in their thinking machine.

So what is the reason for their constant yelling and degrading, they just keep on ranting how much you suck and how much you are a loser but they do it because they want to train your mental strength because when you are in a competition, exam, or even at your breaking point, your mind becomes the main playground, you would be constantly questioning yourself, you would be thinking of excuses to quit and that's when you're suppose to say "NO! I AM PUSHING ON!" You need to just push yourself and you realize by the end of the day, you did it with all you can with the best you can even though at that point it really sucks to be pushing on especially when you are pushing yourself.

That is when all the yelling and degrading insults that your dear dear Dear trainers and teachers come in hand, their insults and yelling teaches you to push yourself on because in a training you have to train even when they are shouting their lungs out, that is when sub-consciously your mind is being train to push and force your way through, not only that your body kick in with hormones and pumps the chemicals you need to push it on.

Here is my own account, i was in the gym doing a new set of exercises involving high repetitions and it was really tiring and killing me to the point where i wanted to quit, i just did not want to come to the gym anymore, i just wanted out but i told myself to just finish it, i did and it made me feel good about myself because i am one step closer to achieving a long term goal and whatever I've endure would be useful in the near future or even sooner.

Dear friends, i pray that God will give you the strength and hope you need to carry on and push on to the end of the line or even the end of the day wherever you are whatever your doing, if you feel like no one believes you or no one cares about you, I do even if i don't know you because i believe that no matter how hard it is, you can do it and become the champion that you are and a little prayer goes a long way. God bless you.

P.S
Pushing is hard, regretting is harder

Greener pasture; to step over or not?

There was a farm looked well by the farmer John, he feeds, care and nurture the animals in his farm, giving them the best he can offer and in return the animals to harvest the corps for him and provide his livelihood. The animals John can only afford are Chuck the Chicken, Porky the Pig, Connie the Cow and Shane the sheep, these few animals were always complaining about the work they need to do except Shane who love the farm and farmer John.

Chuck:" Why are we always working, always laying eggs for farmer john! I don't want to work, I want to move on to the other farm where the grass is greener and there are more potential mates for me over there!"

Porky:" Yeah that's right i just want to lay in the mud all day long like the pigs over on the other farm, and not work my back off over this side and becoming the farmers milking machine!"

Connie:" Yeah why cant i just eat grass all day long like the cows over on the other side and enjoy the sunset and sunrise without needing to strap a plow on my back!"

Shane:" I don't know about you guys, but i like it here, farmer john always feed me, take cares of me, loves me and always give me the best he can offer and in return i just need to keep his crops safe from rodents, I don't mind a bit."

Chuck:" Oh you silly sheep, look around you, your 19 years old and your still single, look over the other side, look at how happy the other sheep are on the other farm, being in a pack, eating grass all day, starting a family and enjoying the company they have. YOU MY DEAR SHEEP! have been always hanging out with us and haven even had a mate, i think its time you wake up and see the greener grass!"

Porky:" OINK! OINK! that's right silly sheep, I've seen you looking over at the pretty lambs the other side, don't you want to go over and mix around or stay here your whole life and watch crops grow, OINK! OINK!"

Connie:" MOO! They are right shane, we are all still sinlge and the farmer john wont even provide us with friends and family, we will all die lonesome here without a family and love one! I think its time we jump the fence and join the other farm!"

Shane:" Mehhh! i don't know, farmer john is so poor, yet he still gives us the best he can provide and if we run, he wont be able to run his farm any longer if we jump the fence over to the other farm, i still want to stay."

That night itself, when farmer John was sound asleep in his bed. Chuck, Connie and Porky jump the fence and left the farm to join the other farm which they say is better then their own farm without waking up Shane as well.

The next morning, Shane woke up and saw that all his friends have left him, Shane panicked and ran to the fence.

Shane:" MEHH! MEHH! OH NO! all my friends have left me to join the other farm, what should I do?! should i join them but i can't just leave poor farmer john like that! OH MEHH! what do i do?! what do i do?!

In all of the confusion, Shane just sat at the fence all day long, thinking whether he should join his friend on th greener side of the grass or stay with his beloved farmer john?

Shane:" MEHH! I have been sitting here all day long! If i stay here, i'll be all lonely and die a lonely sheep, i'll have no family, no love life, no kids! But if i jump over who knows whether they will accept me as part of the pack?! OH WHAT DO I DO?! MEHH!

Farmer John was looking around for his beloved animals all day long until sunset when he found shane sitting on the fence, looking confuse and feeling lost....

This story has no ending to it, I would leave it up to you to end the story, how you end it will determine what type of personality you hold but of course its not 100% accurate. And of course whether or not shane jumps the fence is up to you, i am sure if you are person who can read between the line, you can definitely put yourself in the same situation as well.

This is how i feel right now even this month itself, i am feeling lost in my own place, i look at the other place, it looks great with abundant chances, new friends and opporutnity in life but yet on the other hand if i leave my place, will they accept me, is it true whatever i see will become reality or am i just living the fantasy of the grass is greener on the other side and end up falling hard?

Is the grass greener on the other side? Should i take the jump and cross the fence?