S.P.M is just a breeze, S.P.M aiyah nothing wan lah, S.P.M is not that hard one, chill. S.p.m what is that? and etc. This is what i hear every time i question my seniors of their past SPM experience, somehow they always say it easy but now as my heart beats at a faster rate, as my breath gets heavier, as the sweat rolls down my face, as i begin to be big eyed the fact that ITS coming and it is my turn now to sit for SPM in just three weeks from now.
Spm is always easier said than done, and i can see why my seniors always make it seem easier because they have passed it and they are being kind not to scare us by saying wah Spm so hard man, you going to die from sleepless nights, frustrations, regrets and failures, you got to sacrifice so much just to pass this one government exam. I guess if someone said that to me, i will straight away panic. Yes Spm is a government exam and most people will be worried or stress because we have so much topics, lessons, subjects, exercise to cover and worse of all is that we don't know what to expect to be coming out for the Spm test especially history exam, where most people dread over 20 chapters of facts that can come out as a question from anywhere.
I myself personally have been studying hard to make sure i meet the grades especially God's grades. There are times where i feel that my faith is being tested as to how well i trust my Big Daddy up there to guide me through this examination. Honestly saying, i have times where i am so worried and stress out that i feel like giving up, there are times where i see myself answering a blank paper especially history essay but again God intercedes and say "O you of little faith" and this hits me on my head as i have not been depending on God to guide me through this Spm examination.
"O you of little FAITH!!" and its quite true that when circumstances seems against us or they is a hard and challenging road in front of us, we tend to panic and forget about our ultimate solution, GOD! I am not saying that we are condemned for not having trust God but God is in a way trying to reestablish that Faith towards him cause we sometimes tend to stray from God and forget about him, so he needs to put in a dire situation where we try everything to solve our problems until we run out of solution and realize we forgot all about God, our Father in heaven who can solve all things Big and Small.
One thing God also reminded me about in this period of time is that HE is the alpha and omega, THIS IS MY FATHERS WORLD! One night i was so worried until i lost sense of myself. So being a restored man of God, yes i have fallen but through God's grace i was and am restored, "the prodigal son". So i prayed to God,while just worshiping and praising him, the song "this is my fathers world" started to play in my head and my Mp3, coincidence, i don't think so, the song reminded me that our Father in heaven create the earth and us, so He is like the ultimate secret to success in exams and life, why should i worry? When I have God the creator, alpha and omega, the first and the last to see me through Spm with me in his Loving arms, to make sure that he plans out a way that we will go through it triumphantly and with success.
Another thing God showed me was that i am not the only one who is going to sit for Spm. Many, billions, trillions have sat it before me and it is not a CRIME, IT IS NOT EMBARRASSING to seek my seniors and mentors for guidance on how they face Spm? IN this time, What did they do to have that reassurance and confidence to pass with flying colors. I have to thank all those who have shown me support and given me some very good tips, but the best of all is one sms that i got from my senior that just sat for Spm last year. She reminded me that she went through it, her brothers went through it and they all did well with God guiding them and bringing them through it, so God will never abandon you or forsake you, if he can help the people before me through Spm, why cant he now? At this moment i broke down to know that my faith was so diminished that again i forgot that God is our creator, our all seeing Father, he will NEVER EVER leave you out in the dark, he will always be there to see you through it for good.
No a doubt that i am going to sit for Spm soon, time to buck up and work hard but also pray and seek God even much harder than ever before. There will be many things that i have to sacrifice in order to do well for Spm but it will be worth at the end of the road, the nights staying up to study, cutting down on basketball and leisure time, but it will all be worth it at the end because i have God to look onto for help, guidance and support.
One common question that i hear from the streets these days is "Aiyooh i am darn scared that i wont do well, i am scared i will fail lah dude." Yeah sometimes i also feel like in that situation but with God by my side, i will not FAIL, i SPEAK AGAINST THAT SAYING OF FAILURE because God loves his child too much to see him fail. And A's is not everything, its only something, we got to remember that no matter what results that i and others will be getting is God's plan from the start and he will make a way when there seems to be no way, all you have to do is to TRUST AND OBEY.
Well thats all i have for now. Please pray for me as i will sitting for Spm, pray for my brethen and sisters also cause it is not only me who will be going through mountains of challenges but also many others. Your prayers will much be appreciated, and of course lets also not forget those sitting for STPM as well.
