Stuck in a crossroad

~*Alarm ringing!!!*~ uhh what time is it? Its 6.00am in the morning, why am i awake?A That's the first question i ask myself each morning and the never failing answer would be its time to get up and get ready for school!

Right now i am currently doing form 6 in Smk Taman Sea, to those who dont know what is form 6, its tertiary education. So the story goes as i started out first at Smk Bu1 then after a month or more and a load of paper work, i got the green light to transfer to Smk Taman Sea and then upon my arrival in Taman Sea, i wanted to change my course from a science course to a Arts course. So more paperwork to be done!

But the whole reason of this blog will be revealed now.

Because i wanted to change from a science course to a arts course, the new procedure as stated by the minister of education is that i would have to sit for a course evaluation test, so its just a papaer consisiting of 160 jobs and all you had to do is to answer a yes or no to the job whether you would consider taking this job.

So after 20minutes or so i finished answering the paper, the counselor came back with the answer sheet to come out with my results. so counting and marking and more counting....Minutes later.... my results came out

Its like a personality test to see how much your scores lies on each attributes....So my results conclude one thing

The counselor looked at my results, she was puzzled and confused with my results and the first thing she said looking at my results."One thing i can say that is your unsure of what you want to do cause all this while i have students come in to do the test and they are sure with what they want to do may it be Arts or science." i was still not sure what she meant then she asked me what is my job occupation, I strated blankly at the counselor because i dont know what occupation i want when i grow up.

The counselor answered back this proves it all, your results shows that you are stuck in the middle,you dont like all the mathematics and all the teory things but you are good at maths as it shows on your spm result. On the other hand, you want a job which is sosiable and is enterprising, meaning that you are pulling yourself two ways right now.

At that moment it struck me as to how come i am feeling under so much pressure and stress recently like i am puling myself apart because deep inside myself i am struggling with my studies, I dont want to do science subject because i will not cope well, literally afraid of the subjects,on the other hand i dont want to take the arts subject because i am not into Economics,busniness, history and so on.

Th counselor continued:" Right now at this moment i can tell that you are unsuer about form 6 as well, you are undecisive of what you want to do because your stuck in the middle. You dont want the science subject because you cant cope with it, where as if your put in the Art stream, your just pushing yourself to do the subjects. I pity you if i put you in arts or science, you will push yourself so much."

After talking back and forth to cut the long story short, we both came to an agreement that going to college would be the best option for me now then there also lies the problem because i dont know what course i want to take,another crossroad. So i would have to see the college counselors to help me out again.

Crossroads, now i am stuck in it,plenty of it, i've got to explain why i want to dropout of form 6 and go to college to my parents, then i've got to choose which course i want to take.

Be grateful if you are in college or have made up your mind about your future because its not nice when your stuck in a crossroad,everything seems so unclear adn blur. Worse part of all, its your own decision to make! no one else to blame when you regret of your decision.

I dont know how i will get out of this sticky situation but one for sure is that a decision has to be made soon and the true charateristics of my friends and family will be revealed to me, to separate those who are caring and supportive and those who dont give a care.

Be gratefel for whereever you are in especially those who are already on the path they have drawn out and made their mind up, thats good for you.

Be thankful to those who have a chance to migrate overseas out of this country, not to say you left us and its a evil thing, the good thing is you left for a better place, a better life, a better future and we are happy for you but please come back with a grateful heart and dont whine, you dont know how tough things are over here.

To end this blog, i am stuck with no solution at hand, no clear path to take and i dont want to regret making the wrong decision again. The next time when you are stuck in a crossroad,you'll understand how it feels.

My advice for everybody now is to be sure of the path you want to take in the future, dont end up like me, making one two many regretful decisions in life that make me end up in more crossroads.

Also dont let others bring down the path you have drawn out but be sure of that path your taking, a few question you can consider asking about that path your taking
1) Are you sure this is what you want to do?
2)Will it guarante a secure and fruitful future?
3)Is it in your interest to take this path?

question no 3 is very important because if your going to take that path because your parents or friends or someone says that taking this path is good for you, yes it is but believe me if your not interested in doing it and just slumber go and take on the path, your pushing yourself and you will DEFINITELY BURN OUT AND FAIL! because that is what is happening to me now, another advice to heed.

Above it all, one thing you we can be sure when this kind of things happen, we see who is those who really care for us and again those who dont even give a care.