Feel that God is far away and not answering your prayers?

This must be one of the post where i will share something i've learned from God the HARD and PAINFUL WAY. The main reason is that if he does not break my heart then i will never learn and understand his teachings.

Well frankly i am not here to write just another post but i am writing this based on my life experience and its not just a story about another guy but a LIFE story.

I was experiencing dryness and again i got lost in the crossroads of life, huh funny how i always end up in another cross road after just such a short time. Anyways yes i was very down spiritually and emotionally and physically, i was not rejoicing in the holidays instead i was mourning, haizz emo kenneth again, hrmphh no good. That was the one thing that baffled me, instead of enjoying what i have that is one week off of school, wee, i was just sitting there and mourning over stupid little things, man i am so weird but of course everything i go through has a lesson behind it.

Why was i mourning and feeling down? Well cause yet again these 'voices' came and slap me to tell me to look at what i have and literally pulling me down and tell me that i am a nobody, questioning me How come God has not give you what you have asked for? How come he ha not answered your prayer that is your heart desires? I was shock as yes its true, all the questions end up being answered yes He has not answered anything, so i went into mourning, knowing no hope, and whats worse was i am suppose to be getting ready for a spiritual battle soon with the church and here i was a soldier of God wearing down my armor and quitting, right even before the spiritual battle has begun, losing hope when i know that the battle has been already won because we have God by our side.

Then i went no mourning the whole week then on friday night thanks to my youth group, as they were praying and just worshiping God, making sure they are ready for the PJpd (Petaling Jaya Prayer Day) on saturday. I just could not praise God anymore cause i have lost all my hope and faith in him. Then later i was so sad that i went on breaking down outside of the prayer circle, i was just weeping and asking God what has happen to me, what have i become? Then they called me back and prayed for me and WAOO OUR GOD IS REALLY AN AWESOME GOD!!! he forgive me of all my sins, and cured me, bringing me back to his arms again and just taking me back like the prodigal son, its was very touching and life changing.

The reason why i felt so lost and alone, thinking that the Lord has abandon and not answering my prayer is because I was too far ahead of him, he is at point 1, i am already gang huo want to go ahead to point 2, so he has to pull me back to point 1 again, again i forgot to yield my all to him, again i failed by taking the drivers whell and driving ahead in full speed, now thats where patient comes into practice, we have to be patient with God with whatever he provides us with.

Also i learned that God did not answered my prayers because i am not ready for whatever i have prayed for, because i have not put into practice what i have learnt from the word and thus if answering my prayer just like that and seeing that i am not ready for it, it will just kill me.

So two things to learn whenever you fell like this situation i am in:

1)Always be patient and strong, shut out the voices of the devil that tell you things that are not true because you are the SON of GOD, he knows you by name and he has great plans for you even if you feel that you have nothing, OHH believe you have everything that is IN GOD.

2) Slap yourself awake and start being a christian wherever you are, be a shining light and be a cheerful person or whatever God has called you to be and whatever you have prayed for will come to you in time, trust me on this one. *winks*

What is wrong with having BGR?

I came across many people not you nice people but others who tell me that BGR is no good, its a waste of time, its bad for the young.

I been thinking that people should not look at BGR(boy-girl relationship) in a bad way only, there is always two ways at looking at things, take for example TV, the good thing is it keeps you entertained and up to date with the latest news, the bad thing its addicting and you must filter what tv shows to you.

Well same thing as looking at BGR, there is two ways at looking at it, well let me start off with the BAD part since everyone i've come across not you nice readers tell me its so called "BAD" True BGR is also bad, ok i hate using te word bad, let me say this again. True BGR is not good for us, there is a few bad point about it. Well, from my point of view, not following others, here goes:

1) It can end up being the main cause of depression
2) It requires commitment and responsibility
3) It can be addictive to some like those lovely dovy times
4) It may affect ur studies, maybe cannot study cause thiking too much about the girl, haha
5) Sometimes there are little fights which are sometimes memorable and sometimes hurting

Well that is all that i can think off but please forgive me if any of these is not right as i am looking it at my point of view.

Moving on BGR also have some good in it, let us see:

1) You understand the opposite sex better
2) You learn about responsibility
3) You learn about patience and being the man
4) You become more appreciative of things around you but mostly HER
5) You somehow feel happy to know that there is someone special there for you
6) You are happy to know someones love and care for you and vice versa
7) You become a changed man
8) It might become the motivation to become a better person
9) You understand how to handle people better
and many more but of course again, this is from my point of view, so please forgive me if there is anything wrong.

Well then i hope this can make you think a while that you cant always look at things in a bad ways except those that can kill you like smoking, alcohol, sex before marriage, all these bad thing. they are BAD from the beggining.

Always remember, we can be very easily manipulated, if one day someone came up to you and told you that that guy VERY bad, no good. You mihgt be saying oh yeah i did not know and then your go on gossiping about bad things which he never did or is going to do. So next time before just falling for people's saying, stop and think, look at things in two ways, find out the truth behind it like i did.

We should all practice this. LOOK THINGS AT TWO WAYS.

LIfe is like dancing with cinderella

Morning its monday morning and something interesting i found out while listening to the song sang by steve curtis chapman, wohoo that is Cinderella hit me this morning on the radio station while we were coming back from breakfast.

I suggest that you on the song first on the right hand corner before reading this post, as you will understand better what i am writing about whilst hearing the song and the lyrics, really concentrate on the lyrics he is singing, it really is very beautiful. Here is the lyrics:

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Waoo such a lovely and fantastic song, it really is beautiful and it really touched my heart to such a meodious song, this song even manage to make me teary eyed.

Well this song was wrote by steve curtis chapman in remembrance of his passed away daughter, maria sue chapman, whom was only 5 years old and what happen was one day her brother came back home from school and he was parking his car down the runway to the garage and maria was excited to see her brother came back home, so she ran down the runway and the brother did not manage to stop the car in time, he banged her, she went down, took her to the hospital but they could not save her. Such a sad time for the chapman family but to glory be the father as maria sue chapman is now with our heavenly father in heaven. Let us have one moment of silent for her.

Ok thank you, well i will let you know the real meaning of the song on the video by the right hand side, steve curtis chapman will share it himself.

To me the song plays a different role as i do not have any daughter or kids. But i found out one thing that the cinderella can be anybody in you life and i came to understand that life is like dancing, everytime we met someone we are actually dancing with them in life, swaying left right, moving around subconsiously that is.

It is so beautiful when i found out about this, imagine we have so many cinderella's in life, we are always dancing with these cinderella's, the end of it is how much we appreciate and admire the time we spent dancing together with them, will we just rush it through and faster finish the dance or will we slow things down and take our time to dance with these cinderella slowly and beautifully to each song, hoping it will never end.

What i am trying to say is this that everyday of our lifes we do everything we met everyone, but sometimes we tend to rush thing and just want to get it done when we should actually slowly enjoy what we are doing and appreciate it cause soon it will be gone and you can never repeat it again.

For example, like we met friends everyday, we go yum cha and mamak, we go to work together, subconsiousy we are already dancing with these cinderella, yeah they are the cinderella in your lifes, see how we should treat our friends and family in life, they should be like beautiful and pretty cinderella in our lifes, adore and admire them for once in our lifes, enjoy their company, do whatever it takes to slow things down for once ad enjoy every moment of it.

Charles caleb colton, a famous english cleric, writer and collector quotes this about friends:

"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship....NEVER."

I like to look things at a different prespective

Hi all, well today i like to blog about the way we look and think about something.

Have you ever had moments were everybody was giving a cliche answer for a normal situation but on the other hand you gave a different kind of look, well that is what i do sometimes and maybe i want to look and think about things differently now.

Did you know that our first though about something will be what we expect that thing to be? Did you know that our first though about something will become either something good or bad about the something?

Well the brain is the most amazing and powerful tool in a human i have ever come across, it can make you change, it can even manipulate you, interesting huh? Well just ask all the athletes at the Olympics and they will tell you that sports is 70% mental 30% physical.

One thing i would like to do from now on is that i would think more before actions. I would like to take into consideration about everything around me. I would like to look at things in all sides.

Take for example, you wake up one morning and you go for a jog, you see the sun rise in your local park, to many it will either be Oh no its the sun, aiyoo gonna be so hot later, aiyahyah. or Oh the sun, ok its morning, i better hit home before i get a sunburn or before i start sweating like a pig. or Oh look its the sun, they just glance at it and just continue on their way

But to me, i find it very beautiful everytime i see the rising sun, I would stop what i am doing, I would take a good look at the way the sun rises from the clouds, admire its beautiful rays that penetrates the blue skies and the lightly glowing sunbeam shining down on earth, I would then close my eyes and enjoy the ray of warmth the sun gives out, ahh it is seriously very warm and fuzzy, you should try it yourself,just stop and admire the beauty of this phenomenon, the rising of the sun.

The one thing i really miss when i went to morning class is this, i wake up at either 5.00 or 6.00am to get ready for school and then when i reach school, i wont get a chance to have a great widescreen view of the rising of the sun like i do in my park, and because my class i not facing direct at the sun, i dont get a great full view of the sun.

Yeah so that is one example of how i look differently at things in life. One thing very important i notice if we take time off to enjoy, be grateful and admire what we have even the small things like a cup of coffe in the morning or the people you see in your workplace or school, we find life to be so much more meaningful and life seems so beautiful and just perfect.

I hope that i manage to pass something on to you readers, sorry for being longwinded but truly i really pray hard that your would understand what i am trying to share here, this little changing of thinkings and our looks and perspective of life can change our life's story.

So i leave you with one thing, it does not matter what ever you have, what ever you do, what ever you see, may it be your family, friends, your cup of coffe, your pets, your workplace, your job, your LIFE, jogging, exercising, walking, running, wacthing movie, reading, playing games, using your com, driving, talking, flirting, fellowshiping and etc. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF IT, dont loos it out while you have it, this things you do might the same routine everyday and yes sometimes it bores you but LIFE CAN BE PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL and WONDERFUL IF YOU COULD JUST ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF IT, even when your alone, what ever you do, dont lament and be sad cause your all alone, enjoy what you are doing.

Thomas jefferson the 3rd president of america who first wrote the declaration of independence for the united state quotes this about life:

"Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits."


What he means is by my understanding, that happiness does not come about in our conditions or place we are in, it comes with us first making sure that everything in life is in a GOOD state.

Sometimes Its better to trust with God's decision

Yup this saturday and sunday was a great weekend.

On saturday i went to smk Catholic high for the 12th annual Bible Knowledge Quiz, boy was it a great time, i really enjoyed my time especially on the LRT ride and the funny thing is after the Bk quiz, i went back home by LRT and my parents called and told me that they will pick me up in the station. So i waited and waited,waited and wait and wait. then they called

'Hello ken, where are you? we are here near the bus stop, we dont see you?'
'I am at the bus stop, i dont see your either, which station are ur in? I am here in Taman Bahagia station.'
'What we are here in the Kelana Jaya station, iayoo never mind we will come get you'

The funniest thing is that they never state which station i was suppose to go, so following my common sense i just went to the station nearest to my home that is Taman Bahagia loh but end up i was suppose to met them at Kelana Jaya.

Well after shopping with my parents at giant, we went back home took a shower and then went to 1U, we went to MPH to read some books, i was just browsing around and then i stumbled upon the men's health magazine, so i was just devouring every piece of information the magazine had on how to get a fit and nice body. After all the reading, wahh i was so thirsty and hungry, so we all decided to go to Coffee bean, we had a chai latte and chicken sandwich, ummmm boy the sandwich it was really filling even after sharing it and the chai latte, emmm boy delicious, mouth watering and satisfying.

Then later it was off to youth for me, we had games, fellowship and makan. Half way we the guys even decided to play a round of table tennis. After that I had the privalage of talking with my best friend KIEW SIEH JIN the KIWI, hehe. get it KIEW and KIWI, haha, ok never mind if its lame.

I was still quite upset and down with what happen with the prom date. so I just shared with him and amazingly he manage to cure me and set me back on track. We talk some more and more and some more until I had to go home.

We all should salute KIEW SIEH JIN for taking the commutor all the way from seremban to selangor just for the BK quiz and youth, and to just see me, SIEH JIN I SALUTE YOU AND RESPECT YOU. Here is a true man and warrior of GOD.

Then after dinner, i was out like a light.

SUNDAY, yea a day of celebration and great joy to be in church to worship and honour our Father in Heaven. Thinking that i was finally cured if my dilemma and broken heart, later that day it came back again, it not that easy as just letting it go, it takes some time to cure. I sat there and my mind was just drifting and wandering, lamenting, sobbing. Just me, myself......

Then came YEW LEUNG, a super duper king kong godzilla dragon tanking food eating not more single caring loving and holy friend of mine. WE just sat and chat and it really made me better and he help set me back on track again.

THANK YOU ALOT YEW LEUNG, your really a great friend.

Well that was my sunday and saturday. Later at 5.00 i would be going for passion, any guys going there, see you and lets ROCK FOR JESUS.

Things never turn out the way you want it to be....

Today is friday and i would be at my happy self, positive and bright. But today was also the day i felt disappointed and crushed into a million pieces, i felt like useless and a loser.

As i wrote i asked the girl to be my prom date and i was waiting patiently for her answer and today was the day that i would have my answer, so as usual today at SMKDJ CF, we had step up step down, with a great band performance by the younger ones and of course the handing over of the posts to the next future leaders. After that it was back home for the rest of us.

As usual i met her outside of school, instead of me first asking her about prom. She straight away answered me and No she cant go because she has none of her friends going with her and she said that there is no place left but i told her that i booked a place for her and because i am the kinda of guy that does not pressure anybody, so i just let here go but she was very kind by apologizing to me and i understand.

But it very sad as this points out something that God does not allow me to form a relationship with her, my dreams crushed... I though i could finallyn impress her to follow me to prom, now it just seems that i have no one special to celebrate prom night with....

I felt very sad and useless and i felt that i did not do enough to impress her, i was so furious at myself, i was angry at myself and all that i've done, why did'nt I just keep fit when i was young? Why was'nt I given a great physique just like the rest of the guys? Why cant i charm her? Why am i not as handsome as the rest? Is there something missing in me that does not work out?

I was just so out and down, so broken, so frustrated, so disappointed, anrgy and so depressed cause i though tht i could finally have something in my life that i would be happy about and proud of, to finally have someone who loves and care for me but that is just all a broken dream now.....