This must be one of the post where i will share something i've learned from God the HARD and PAINFUL WAY. The main reason is that if he does not break my heart then i will never learn and understand his teachings.
Well frankly i am not here to write just another post but i am writing this based on my life experience and its not just a story about another guy but a LIFE story.
I was experiencing dryness and again i got lost in the crossroads of life, huh funny how i always end up in another cross road after just such a short time. Anyways yes i was very down spiritually and emotionally and physically, i was not rejoicing in the holidays instead i was mourning, haizz emo kenneth again, hrmphh no good. That was the one thing that baffled me, instead of enjoying what i have that is one week off of school, wee, i was just sitting there and mourning over stupid little things, man i am so weird but of course everything i go through has a lesson behind it.
Why was i mourning and feeling down? Well cause yet again these 'voices' came and slap me to tell me to look at what i have and literally pulling me down and tell me that i am a nobody, questioning me How come God has not give you what you have asked for? How come he ha not answered your prayer that is your heart desires? I was shock as yes its true, all the questions end up being answered yes He has not answered anything, so i went into mourning, knowing no hope, and whats worse was i am suppose to be getting ready for a spiritual battle soon with the church and here i was a soldier of God wearing down my armor and quitting, right even before the spiritual battle has begun, losing hope when i know that the battle has been already won because we have God by our side.
Then i went no mourning the whole week then on friday night thanks to my youth group, as they were praying and just worshiping God, making sure they are ready for the PJpd (Petaling Jaya Prayer Day) on saturday. I just could not praise God anymore cause i have lost all my hope and faith in him. Then later i was so sad that i went on breaking down outside of the prayer circle, i was just weeping and asking God what has happen to me, what have i become? Then they called me back and prayed for me and WAOO OUR GOD IS REALLY AN AWESOME GOD!!! he forgive me of all my sins, and cured me, bringing me back to his arms again and just taking me back like the prodigal son, its was very touching and life changing.
The reason why i felt so lost and alone, thinking that the Lord has abandon and not answering my prayer is because I was too far ahead of him, he is at point 1, i am already gang huo want to go ahead to point 2, so he has to pull me back to point 1 again, again i forgot to yield my all to him, again i failed by taking the drivers whell and driving ahead in full speed, now thats where patient comes into practice, we have to be patient with God with whatever he provides us with.
Also i learned that God did not answered my prayers because i am not ready for whatever i have prayed for, because i have not put into practice what i have learnt from the word and thus if answering my prayer just like that and seeing that i am not ready for it, it will just kill me.
So two things to learn whenever you fell like this situation i am in:
1)Always be patient and strong, shut out the voices of the devil that tell you things that are not true because you are the SON of GOD, he knows you by name and he has great plans for you even if you feel that you have nothing, OHH believe you have everything that is IN GOD.
2) Slap yourself awake and start being a christian wherever you are, be a shining light and be a cheerful person or whatever God has called you to be and whatever you have prayed for will come to you in time, trust me on this one. *winks*
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