What about now?

What about now,
What about today,
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be,
What if our love never went away,
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find,
Baby, before it’s too late,
What about now.

I haven heard from you for a while, no replies, just hi and bye. Ever wandering where i stand but never dare to ask, scared of losing out again. If i could sing my feelings for you right now in a simple chorus it would be this.
What about now? are we making any progress?
what about today? would you give me a try?
What if you're making me all that i was meant to be? What if you are my life?
What if our love never went away? Please give me a chance to prove myself to you.
What if its lost behind words we could never find? Words i never dare ask, the word that could either shock you or open up yourself to me.
Baby, before its too late, before we lose out this chance and never get to turn back time.
What about now? Why don't we take a chance between us ?

This is the song i sing everytime i see you

Every time I see you at a distance, at times so near yet so far away, at times close and wanting to get closer but it takes time. Each time i see you, this is the song i would sing to you if i could express my feelings for you.

Feeling the pinch of reality again

Haha you'll never guess what happen peps, somebody left a comment on one of my post on the 'x' factor thing, if you cant find it, this is what he wrote

Understandably your article helped me terribly much in my college assignment. Hats off to you enter, intention look progressive for more interrelated articles in a jiffy as its sole of my favourite subject-matter to read.

Haha, he find my article useful for his/her college assignment, well whoever you are out there i am glad my blog articles helped you in a way as i can never see it that way, thank you for the complements and i hope future articles will provide help as well.

Ok moving on, Its been six days after camp, only two days back in reality, back down to earth and......I am already struggling, feeling sad and losing myself again. I will never forget the last day of camp where i said i never want to leave that atmosphere of peace because when i am back down here, so many things fall in, so many things start to pile, alot of problems will start to surface.....Worse of all is the lack of support, in the camp, there was never a moment where i would be on my own, there would always be somebody there next to me, i never felt so secure, peaceful and relax in my life and I can never stop thanking God for all these lovely people who help me be the man i am today, who really change me back to the way i was meant to be.

but seems right now, slowly i am spiralling back down into my old self again, losing hope and faith in Him and myself but He always lifts us up and brings us support in time of need.

I would've to keep my chin and spirit up, wouldn't want to let Him down, wouldn't want others to speak against my troubled self, its better to keep the sad and put on the mask of lies that show i am fine when i am really have some problems to face because then and only then would people care about you, sad to say.

But there are those of golden heart, really a heart so warm and kind, it just makes you melt and feel all the better when they give you a hearing ear or a warm hug, this can really break you down in tears to let it all out, just a single touch can remind us we are never alone. So i challenge those reading this post, if you canl, help a troubled friend today, just a hug or a shoulder to cry on.

All in all, i wont give up too early, its not the end of me yet, because i would bounce back up pretty high and i will give it my best until i cant, i would take a breather and bounce back up again.

Tokio hotel-World Behind my wall

Heard this song a few times a week already and at one point i was sick of it when all of sudden i hear on radio, someone explaining what does this song mean? What are the lyrics about?

The song is about not experiencing love before and all day long he hears about how beautiful it all is, how great it is, how wonderful it is behind his wall of his world, so it speaks about how much he is willing to sacrifice to crawl his way into love, and his eagerness to get there.

So yeah that's basically it and somehow i can relate to this song.

Coming up short? missing 'x' factor!?

I have to ask just this questions to the girls out there

What is that 'X' factor your look for in a guy?

Does first impression help us guys win your heart faster?

What can a guy do to win your heart and be secure and sure of us to be together in a relationship?

Cf camp 2010

Smk Taman SEA CF camp by far is the best camp in my life, that three days totally touched and changed my life.I am now very nostalgic and missing the camp alot not because of the fun and rocking the drums for Jesus only but the people in it as well.

I also really like the worship teams alot, especially group 3, awesome people like racheal, liyen, william, lydia, jeff, felix, christian, christin and so many more people who has made this camp the best part of my life. Your all truly showed me love and care that really melt my heart and mend my brokenness inside out, love you'll so much and i will never miss rocking out with Jesus with all of your. BIG HUGS!

I also miss my team Tortilla so much, team members michelle, pei jiun, brenda, andrea, zi yoong, daryl, william and sherwiin. You all are such great team members, i would not have never ask for a better team, i would also like to personally thank andrea and christine for helping me lead the team, wouldn't been possible without both of our help, love your all alot, hugs.

Also there is the drummer team, daniel and joel, thank you guys so much for trusting me in everything and helping me in organising the drums and also being a close brother to me, i am forever grateful for your care,concern and love.

Last but not least are all the other campers who have touched me and made this camp such a memorable one, le on, melvin, elaine, kok hoon, yew leung, racheal cheah, Hilary, erin, huey wern, sheng khai, joshua, justin, samantha, tien mie, karina, wesley, li ren and all the others who i have not mention, thank you all for being apart of my life and making this camp truly special for me.

'Sob' I'll miss all the worship sessions i had with all the teams, i'll miss seeing all of you in my church again, and most of all i'll miss the bond and fun we shared with camp. Thank you God for all these people who have changed my life, and this awesome camp which i will never forget my whole life, bless and protect them all.

8th day of March

Manic Monday, today was a special Smk Taman S.E.A canteen day, its basically selling all kinds of food to our students and i really enjoy and had fun in the process of going around and seeing which club and friends need help, but most of the time was spent on buying, drinking and eating.

ALSO A BIG SHOUT OUT TO MY TWO CLASSMATES!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANITHA AND ATIQAH!
Have a great year and great life now and forever, happiness and peace be with you all day of your life.

Well today is a manic monday, starting with canteen day, after that i had my first ever interhouse games, i joined handball and even though blue house did not do dairly well, we will never give up and we would go down with style if it maybe. One thing that defeat though me, in my sheer defeat and humiliation, i've learn that i've got to lose at times, that way i learn and get back up again to face the thing with maturity and better. The lose really brough me down cause i had too much of high hopes until the point i forgot to enjoy the game, so tomorow is to just enoy the game within the process of the competition.

One more thing that struck me was that theres a BIG day around the corner and as the clocks tick down, i haven figure out a day,time and a treat for myself, i haven even though of the activities to do on my birthday =P. Hopefully i can come up with something fast,haha

I shall stop here now, my lesson for the day,

no matter how prepared we are, losing/ surrender is always there/ an option, the main thing is to learn from it and face it in the near future with maturity and effectively.

Month of March, the 3rd day

On this day, i woke up in the morning with a bad hunch on my back that today is not gonna be the normal day is gonna turn out to be, i though oh well maybe its just me being groggy, well that hunch was so right today.

The day started out quite bad first with my groggy self, first time in my life i felt grogginess, everything i think of, i whine complain in my mind, getting all stressed out. My fist step in school and i receive news of payments and well seeing i was low on cash, i was quite upset with a certain club which has been taking money from us quite frequently this week and well i dont mind paying, its just that i dont see the value worth of the amount of money involved, so i ended up getting into little arguments and nagging with my classmate, thus came my great fall, mainly also because i was quite stress and grumpy. I have this feeling that i am always constrain to express the way i feel, when i am angry, i have to hold it in, if not we lose face ; when i feel insulted or disgusted, i would hold back my agruments because somehow i always end up being the loser ; when i am sad, people see me as problematic and little help is given, but i truly thank those who try to cheer me up.

Also the bachelor life get quite daunting no me as well, everyday thinking of the day i would find her.......well..... if only people would listen and understand peoples situation, we would listen and comfort rather than brush off the problems as nothing now, small matter and all the bull that people always say just to avoid the conversation, when the times comes and you find yourself in the same situation, would you yearn for a shoulder to lean on? give it some though the next time you go brushing off peoples cry for a shoulder to lean on.

March, i just hope that the next few days, you would be better than this day, oh i pray that this month will not be so bad...

No more CNY but look ahead what's up

As everybody know yesterday was the last day of Cny, which is usually called as chap goh meh, please forgive and correct me if my spelling is wrong. Usually on this last day, families will enjoy a feast together and of course the usual sounds of fireworks will fill the air until the last final hours left of our Chinese New Year. As sad i am to say Cny is over and February is over, i am happy that march has arrived.

Another new month ahead of me which i am sure would be filled with work, fun, up, down ,left. right and only God knows what else. I look ahead to my time in March as the first two months felt like almost a year, i sigh a relief to know that its only march but in that also a relisation of the time i have left in 2010.

Well it would be for one or two obvious reasons why i love/like the month of march. The main thing i would love to see as i write down my first post of march is a couple of things, i would like to see some happyness and peace in life, I would like to see some excitement, changes are for sure, well some new pretty girls to met would be nice, something exciting and interesting happening ( the good fun one not the stressful until i want to die type), so many more to say, so little time to do. only so much i can expect to come true, only so much will happen by God willing, of course one thing in concern would be a special day in my life which i have taken for granted my whole life, not treating a special day to myself, not showing myself some love and appreciation by appreciating the day i arrive into earth and life.

Here come and goes another past in my life, feb has been a difficult time, there are the good and bads but i always try to look on the positive side as best as i can.

March, well i am never a far seeir type, the future planning type but i can forsee a month of excitement,hope and love for me....I hope and pray =P but whatever it is i am glad i am still alive this day to live my 19th march of the year in my whole life, with friends and family near and dear to me, i would not expect much for this month and the special day but one thing i overlook is the day i was born into this world, i should appreciate it and love myself for being here, though not receiving much, i must love myself andf treat it a special day for myself, because this was the day my parents gave birth to me, the day God created and gave me life onto earth, the day i first drew breath and started my life's journey.

Well March, let us March on together to a greaet month ahead. Dear God i pray, this march would be a March to remember for.