Sick for the first time in a looong time

As the title says Ahhh I am sick for the first time in a super uber duper luper long time!

Before that i enjoyed myself in penang. I ate, ate and ate andddd...Ate! Yummy i love penang food, lovely prawn mee, char kuey teow, pasembor, lok lok, bu bu cha cha, tao hui and so many more but most of all Penang white coffe, they taste just like starbucks but better according to me.

Right after i came back, the next day, I feel sick....dang. Just as i wanted to be back a the gym so badly due to the extra kilo's puted on, I was ready to pump iron again when I felt bad. I started to fall sick slowly, its was like a horror movie, first i felt weak, then dizzy, then came the fever, then came the flu, then the sorethroat but praise God it is before christmas. One thing i know for sure that it takes a SUPER BUG to make me sick, so people becareful when I'm sick cause the Super Bug jumps around, Why Super Bug, because i rarely get sick but seems like this week is the season of the bug cause people are falling ill. Hopefully i am not patient Zero =P

Please do check out the pics i put up on facebook and do check out a awesome video with it too.

This song is suitable for me now!

Lostprophets: Its not the end of the world now but I can see it from here

Woahohoh, Woahohoh, Woahohohoh
Woahohoh, Woahohoh, Woahohohoh


My soldiers march tonight
In the city of your dreams
It's beautiful on me, and tearing at your seams
Down on your knees, queuing this disease
I'll take it all, everything I see
Oh can't your hear, this symphony

Behind these walls, you watch them fall
As our union crumbles into hell
It's not the end of the world now baby, so common dry those tears
It's not the end of the world now darling, but I can see it from here

Oh baby dont cry tonight, because your tears they will bleed
Underneath this blood red moon, deafened by your screams
Watch what you say, I will betray
My promises, they will decay
I'll make amens, but not today

Behind these walls, youre watch them fall
As our union crumbles, into hell
It's not the end of the world now baby, so common dry those tears
It's not the end of the world now darling, but I can see it from here

It's not the end of the world now baby, so common dry those tears
It's not the end of the world now darling, but I can see it from
I can see it from here, I can see it from here

It's not the end of the world now baby, so common dry those tears
It's not the end of the world now darling, but I can see it from here
It's not the end of the world now baby, so sommon dry those tears
It's not the end of the world now darling, but I can see it from here

Woahohoh, Woahohoh, Woahohohoh
Woahohoh, Woahohoh, Woahohohoh

You win again

Yesterday and for the past week, something bumped me in the head, my mind started to think logically for the first time in a while, not using my heart but logical mind and thinking. I finally saw the truth and reality that nothing is happening between us, all the time, effort spend on trying to gain back your trust has been not successful, i finally realize that it was time to put up the white flight and give up....

It is time to let you go, time to put everything down, time to give up everything, time to stop trying but most of all its time to admit defeat and failure because now i have lost again...

Well here i am again, broken again, sad to know the truth that today as i let go of you and everything, its also the time i have realize i was playing a losing game. I have to take yet another blow of defeat and failure, another painful memory for me and my past.

Now i am left with one more scar on my heart, i am sorry for everything i've done to her, my only wish was a different answer and also that i did not make a move at all.

This is the song of my heart

Lyricz:
I gotta take a little time
A little time to think things over
I better read between the lines
In case I need it when I'm colder

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
Cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is.....
I want you to show me......
I wanna feel what love is.....
I know you can show me......

I'm gonna take a little time
A little time to look around me....
Ive got nowhere left to hide
It looks like love has finally found me....

In my life there's been heartache and pain
I don't know if I can face it again
I cant stop now, Ive traveled so far
To change this lonely life

I wanna know what love is.....
I want you to show me......
I wanna feel what love is......
I know you can show me......

I wanna know what love is....
I want you to show me....
And I wanna feel, I want to.... feel what love is....
And I know, I know you can show me....

show me

I wanna know what love is, lets talk about love
I want you to show me, I wanna feel it too
I wanna feel what love is, I want to feel it too
And I know and I know, I know you can show me
Show me love is real, yeah
I wanna know what love is...

Time for miracles Adam Lambert

Lyrics:
It's late at night and I can't sleep
Missing you just runs too deep
Oh I can't breathe thinking of your smile

Every kiss I can't forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on LOVE
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on LOVE
No I ain't giving up on us

I just wanna be with you
Cuz living is so hard to do
When all I know is trapped inside your eyes

The future I cannot forget
This aching heart ain't broken yet
Oh God I wish I could make you see
Cuz I know this flame isn't dying
So nothing can stop me from trying

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on LOVE
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on LOVE
No I ain't giving up on us

Baby can you feel it (feel it)
You know I can hear it (hear it)
So can you feel me feel you....

You know it's time....

Baby you know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on LOVE
You know that
Maybe it's time for miracles
Cuz I ain't giving up on LOVE

You know I ain't giving up on us
You know I ain't giving up on
Oh I ain't giving up on us

Copyrights of video goes to SONY PICTURES and youtube

When I gaze upon eyes of love

In my darkest day and time,
Only to lay my eyes upon,
Something so beautiful yet fragile,
Something common yet hard to find,
Something that gives life yet takes it too,
Something that can break and mend a heart,
Words cannot describe finish what is know as LOVE;

On my hopeless time,
Only to set my heart upon,
Two beings coming as one heart,
Two beings beating,sharing,enjoying one beat of heart,
Two beings with a power strong enough to move mountains,
Two beings with a power that cannot separate them,
Two beings coming together as one,
Words cannot describe finish what is know as LOVE;

On my lonely moments,
Only to gaze upon,
The eyes of the bride and groom,
The eyes of lovers first,
The eyes of togetherness,
The eyes of passion,
The eyes of commitment,
The eyes of desire,
A stare which says a thousand words,
Words cannot describe finish what is know as LOVE;

In my darkest day and time,
Only to lay my eyes upon;
On my hopeless time,
Only to set my heart upon;
On my lonely moments,
Only to gaze upon;
A beauty that cannot be describe,
A power so strong it defines a persons life,
A drive that beats the heart beat,
A feeling that only lovers know;
LOVE.....

When i gaze upon eyes of love,
I can only hope I will met her someday,
I can only hope I am ready for her someday,
I can only hope I am good enough for her,
I can only hope she will be in my arms someday,
I can only hope to embrace her with all my heart someday,
I can only hope to give her my all someday,
I can only hope to see her beautiful self someday,
I can only hope to see her smile someday,
I can only hope to share my life with her someday,
I can only hope for my turn to be in LOVE;

Love,
Make your way to me,
Show me the way,
Lead me to the right one,
Make me a better man for her,
Make me a man that cherish,
Make me a man that is grateful,
Make me a man that understands,
Make me a man that is committed,
Make me a man that is passionate,
Make me a man that is sensitive,
Make me a man,
Ready to LOVE her all of my days.

ToKiO hOtEL aUtOmATic

Automatic
Automatic

You're automatic,
And your heart's like an engine
I die with every beat
You're automatic,
And your voice is electric
Why do I still believe?

It's automatic
Everywhere in your letter
A lie that makes me bleed
It's automatic
When you say things get better
But they never...

There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
Why do I keep loving you

It's automatic,
Counting cars on a crossroad
They come and go like you
It's automatic,
Watching faces I don't know
Erase the face of you

It's automatic
Systematic
So traumatic
You're automatic

There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
Why do I keep loving you

Automatic
Automatic
Automatic
Automatic

Each step you make
Each breath you take
Your heart. Your soul.
Remote-controlled
This life is so sick
You're automatic to me

(Love in you)
(Love in you)
There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you

There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
There's no real love in you
Why do I keep loving you?

Automatic
(There's no real)
Automatic
(Love in you)
Automatic
(Why do I)
Automatic
(Keep loving you?)
Automatic...

Friends in Love

Hands up if you have friends who are in a relationship ( cheers to your friends)

Both hands up if your in one yourself (Congratulations, good job ;)

I don't know about you my friends but one thing which i find hard in life is to find a life partner or even be in love. In this world where we are treated so unfairly, even receiving gestures of love and kindness is very hard to come by, even receiving a hug is a becoming extinct now a days, the only gesture shared amongst lovers, family and friends which is so rarely act upon these days.

Well in my life i have seen many friends who have fallen in love together and I am very happy for them because its just a joy to see your friends finally happy in love but of course there is always a mix feeling in us when we look at our friends in love.

One of it would be that we would kudos to their achievement, wishing them a happily ever after, hoping that things would work out for them, wishing them a long lasting relationship.

The second view would be the question that ponders in our mind,
When will I ever have my chance at love?
When can i ever experience that kind of love?
When will my chance at that kind of happyness come?

I've countless friends who have had many relationships and then there is me the bachelor who has not even succeed in starting off a relationship......Friends tell me its better off that i do not face the drama in my young life, that sometimes its better that we are single, that sometimes its better if we are single but i just cant seem to beat off the fact that sometimes being single is very lonely at times, being single sometimes makes life a drag, it becomes very frustrating to always see other people so happy and here you are one man facing the world alone, sooner or later it becomes a fear, scared that life will always be like this....I don't want that and i cannot face that, if my life played out like this forever, i don't know what i would do.

So to my friends who have shared their love story with me, their ups and downs, their happyness and heartbreak, thank you for teaching me and giving me a sound advice. I also would like to advice to those who are in a relationship, the moment you said yes to him/her, you are willing to give that person a chance at your life, your willing to go through the roller coaster of life together because you said yes to that chance.

Well all i can say that i am just one man who is trying find his ways arounf this world, always finding ways to fall in love, trying ways to earn some love in this world. All i can leave behind now is a song by
Paramore All i wanted was you



{Verse 1}
Think of me when you're out, when you're out there
I'll beg you nice from my knees
When the world treats you way too fairly
It's a shame I'm a dream

{Chorus}
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you

{Verse 2}
I think I'll pace my apartment a few times
And fall asleep on the couch
And wake up early to black and white re-runs
That escaped from my mouth

{Chorus}
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you

{Verse 3}
I could follow you to the beginning
Just to relive the start
And maybe then we'll remember to slow down
At all of our favorite parts

All I wanted was you

{Chorus}
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you
All I wanted was you

The salesman trap

I've learn something very new and interesting about the business world and let me tell you this is one post that you must learn and hear me out, it will spare you the type of people you will meet.

I've been thinking of joining a gym for a very long time now, so i went around looking for gyms which gives out reasonable prices and so off i went looking around my neighborhood and of course in one-u ~BIG MISTAKE~

People told me to check out Celebrity fitness, so i went in today and met up with salesman mr.x, he came to me with a friendly smile, kind and warm welcome, of course the usual would be showing me the gym, bringing around, and then the interview. He gave me a very reasonable price but its was a one year agreement which meant i had to consistently pay around rm159 each month until one year is up before i can terminate the agreement and the total price for the starting would be around rm500, that is almost rm 2000 a year, very pricey which is one thing i miss out.

So your wondering Kenneth what is this saleman trap? well here is the rest of the story

When i first came in, he would treat me real nice, compliment me alot, makes sure i was confortable and happy,of course he knew i was eager to join in, so he gave me a student packgae deal as stated above compared to the original price which is about rm 3000++ a year. But them after calling later telling him that i was not going with a deal, he gave me a even lower price, see that he is desperate for me to join in, he decided to charge me rm139, i still said no but then i went on to apologise and thank him until to my suprise Mr.x just said"okay, thank you, BYe bye!" in a rude, unmannered, disgusted tone.

Friends, i've learn that before you plan to buy or invest in something very expensive you need to check out a few business things i've learn, its called a buyer plan:

1) Put the object on hold and get info on the product and company

Gym, info on gym, pricing, facility, members, hygiene, location, enviroment and etc (all check, safe)

2) Before making a decision, put the object on a one week hold off before purchasing it. Meaning you would wait a week, give yourself time to debate and find better prices or other offers before consider going to buy the product from the company.

Pricing and comparison of gym price(check)
One week hold off (x)

See now there is my mistake, i fell right into the salesman trap the moment i saw a great deal but i did not see long term, i forgot to mention that to get the special discount you need to sign up immediately, ohh kenneth your so blind, no only do i realise, its not about helping you get into the gym, its about getting your cash, take note my friends.

My father taught me never to be the victim of the salesman, when they know you are eager, they will force you to fork out that money straight away. when the right thing to do was to debate the price, know your stand as a consumer and look at escape option ( how to leave without paying a heifty price) Learn to let them be the one more desperate to take you in, don't be the sheep who walks into a wolfs den, walk in with a rifle instead, ahah meaning dont fall for their trap straight away, they will always act nice to get you in, after that is a different story, thats why always carry your rifle, which is your escape plan to bail out when things go wrong.

So my friends in conclusion,

1) All salesman are cons (depending on situations)
2) salesman will always act nice to get you in then they reveal their true nature
3) Be a smart consumer, know your grounds as a consumer and dont fall for their wonderful package deal and all of this
4) Always plan out an escape plan. Its like your guarantee of a money free escape
5) LISTEN TO YOUR PARENTS, they know best, trust me. if it weren't for my dad, i would have lost a tone of money to the salesman, and i would be the sucker.

All in all, please remember to be smart, bring a parent or a elder friend along if it involves a heifty price, please heed my advice as many of us all will encounter this in the future when we start to work. I pray to dear God for giving this chance to share my exprience, a glimpse of the business world and their schemes, and i thank Him for seeing me through and providing me with a good family, please protect me, my friends and my family from this situation, bless us and protect us, amen.

Disclaim:
Anything written in this blog spot including names of place and names of people are confidential and by no means meant to criticize or inflict bad manner upon them. The writer of this blog holds no responsibility for any happenings to the salesman or places of name stated including physical, emotional, spiritual, wealth, health,personally and etc. Any pricing stated in this blog is not accurate and by no means hold the actual value.

Laws of attraction

This title has been used by many people as a book title, as a life philosophy, as a movie, as a teaching and etc. This word came into my mind and i was wondering whether it really applies in our life.

The laws of attraction states that "If you really want something and truly believe its possible, you'll get it" but its vice versa meaning putting your though on something you don't want also comes true. In a way its using the power of positive thinking to attract the things you want and work things out.

Many Christians believe that things don't happen by chance but it happens in Gods will and timing. I also see this as a true possibility, well hey God is the alpha and omega, the creator, the beginning and the end. This states that they believe in Gods sovereign plan and will for them and not the law of attraction that uses your positive thinking to work things out.

Today at church i was speaking with a pastor, pastor Wai Meng. I went to him and indirectly ask him about relationships and he stated one statement that hit me, of course i shared the whole up down left right story and he said 'Let them come to you, get confidence to attract people' That was a very good thing to hear and not the cliche answers that everybody gives, he gave me a statement that could help and work.So here is another statement that states 'Confidences attracts people and in a way the things you want" because with confidence comes passion and commitment.

So i am thinking does the law of attraction really works? or do i go with Gods timing and will?or do i go with my confidence to get what i want in life?

In my opinion I agree that things in life do not happen by chance but it was in Gods hand that this things happen but i also agree that things in life happen for a reason. I also agree that confidence does bring about attraction because if we learn to love ourself can we only truly love others.So which one do i see as the best possibility to solve the single life crisis i am in?

Well i see confidence as the main key to bring out in me, I need the positive thinking to help me believe in myself but most of all....A little prayer would not hurt.

That means all three of these does need to play a role in my life, the law of attraction with the power of positive thinking. Confidence to bring out the best in me, something i need to bring out and work on. Of course, a little faith, believe and prayer in God would not hurt, even if it takes a long time for a answered prayer, I've got to try to believe again and not fear.

To those who are struggling and finding hard to solve the troubles and problem you are in, dont be scared, there is always a way out for you and me, if your a christian, stay strong and dont stop believing. If your not a christian, there is always help around the corner, dont box yourself in, reach out and seek help or better still confront the problem with believes that YES i can overcome it.

Laws of attraction

What do i do? What i got to go?

My emphasis on this song is not the sorry that seems to be the hardest word but its the
WHAT DO I DO
WHAT I GOT TO DO

Because i have tried everything yet i am still at point one, feeling left out to fend and love myself....Left to take care of myself....Left alone to take care of my own problems......What do i do....What i got to do seems to be the question i cant answer.

What I got to do to make you love me?
What I got to do to make you care?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
And I wake to find that you're not there?

What I got to go to make you want me?
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I say when it's all over?

What I got to do to make you love me?
What I got to do to be heard?
What do I do when lightning strikes me?
What have I got to do?
What have I got to do?

Bruise and Battered

Owhh my whole body is aching from my legs all the way to my arms and shoulder recently due to sports and physical injury....ouch ouch....one day i know i am gonna hurt something real bad but thank god for my very strong body which does not give way so easily.

On 31st oct 2009 i was a facilitator of the Kem R.I.M.U.P,its a camp which encourages unity among the three major races in malaysia, chinese malay and indian. So the camp was two days and boy was it tiring, all the way from the week before preparing for the camp all the way to the end of the camp, i was constantly working, amking sure everything is in place, everything that the teacher needs or wants me to do was carried, making sure the participants enjoy themselves, lodging, food, equipment, games, the school, Human Resource and managing and much much more that i cant explain finish.

I worked very hard to make sure ends meet, and i really wanted something rewarding in the end, well i learn how to manage my resource human and things alike, responsibility, intergration and so on, many things which teach me much more about hard work. But i really wanted something more than that cause by the end of the day, i know i worked very hard and the fruits will always be just a simply thank you.........but i really wanted more than that.

It kind of reminds me of how i always work hard but gain very little, why does life always favour those who dont work hard but gain a good life? Why should those who work so hard be the ones who face failure in the end?

How come i always must be the one who sits by the sideline when i have changed myself so much, How come i must fail over and over again in life when i work so hard, how come i cant seem to find that love i am looking for in my life, a hole in my heart which i long so much to fill.

I am bruise and battered so much that i myself cant fix and hold myself forever, even as i write i met a right shoulder injury which resulted in swealing, the skin burst a small hole but the worst is the bruise, it hurts when i move it but i feel better after treating it the way i always do with some oilment and bandage, it feels comfortable and mush more soothing but i really want a hug to make it better.

This has trigger Painful memories of how i always work hard but come up short in the end, there is so much a man can bear, I am not superman and even superman has feelings, in life i am always trying to find someone who understands me, all i need is just someone to be with becuase words cannot explain what happens in my life day in day out unless you feel what i feel.

Bruise and battered, i am going to spiral back into my sad sad self again, wondering why my life has turn out this way, how come i always seem to be there by myself, sometimes you feel very lonely in a sea of people, sometimes i feel like a transparent glass infront of my friends but nobody cares for those who are hurting on the inside and i learn the hard way that no matter how much you cry nobody will be there to tell you its ok, giving you the support you need,comforting you, time and time i always had to pick myself up........cant a man have a little love?

To those who have many friends, please enjoy your moments with them, you dont wanna lose them, you dont wanna lose those percious moments of laughter and joy, you dont want to hate each other for a little misunderstanding because people like me are the ones who truly understand what its like to be on the sideline, lonely and finding a way out of it. To those who have found Love, enjoy every moment you have even the little fights you go through because love is very hard to find in this world now, even getting someone to be with you in a relationship is very hard to me and you should not be complaining about the relationship you have unless he is a bastard and she is a bitch.

I am very tired inside and out, sometimes i just wanna be in a sweet dream forever, never to wake up to the harsh painful reality that i am in now.....dear god please show me a way out of this, please just go easy on me and spare me the pain if i decide to end myself...dear god i pray you hear for once in my life and heal this broken man.....

Relax, take it easy

Exams are over and of course teachers has begun to show us of our hard work that payed off in our exam and of course there is always the same cycle of those who did well, average and not so well and i am one who has all three, haha xP

But to me i am alright if I get a fail, it does not matter to me how badly or good i did, the main thing i am satisfied that i at least try my best and worked hard for this exam, those sleepless nights must have payed off, actually it was just sleeping later only =P

However and no matter what results we obtain my dear classmates of 6Bb/Bm, just know that this is just a gauge for us to see how well we are doing in our subjects, to see whether or not we are keep up with our studies, to see whether it is time to get serious and catch up or to maintain the momentum we have.

One thing we all have to understand is that Failure is ALWAYS an OPTION, yes it is very true failure will always be a part of our life, it is only how you deal with that failure that makes it either a painful or fruitful past.

I can stand here and share I am a FAILURE in life too, but not always tag on my forehead A FAILURE excluding the emotional times. I have gone through alot of failures in life, you name it from studies to relationships to work to personal to family and many more, fail fail fail, no one likes to hear that word, everybody hates it and its not wrong to hate that word. The dictionary quotes failure as

The state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective, and may be viewed as the opposite of success.

Nobody likes to fail because we are always driven to succeed to achieve that great feeling of satisfaction, meeting our desires and feeling high and on cloud nine BUT when we fail, we feel like a loser and nothing seems to work out for us, we really degrade ourself.

Failure will always be there, but if we deal with it and use that failure, learn from it and use it as a advantage in life for us. In other words, those who experience alot of failure in life are those who understand life alot, learn to appreciate life, learn to be humble and many other things but the main point is these are the people who will ultimately succeed in life later on and become a great man or woman for others.

So don't take your failures so hard dear friend, go through that emotional roller coaster as much as you want, when your done with it, its time to move on and learn from that failure but most of all we must motivate ourself to do better than before, to try our best even more.

I can share with you to this day, i have had alot of failures in life in terms of fair or unfair failure and i always question my faith and my God as to why i have to go through all these failures, hard work which in the end takes only one wrong move to waste it ending in ULTIMATE FAILURE! And i always dread the pass failures, how i did not met my desires, satisfactions, needs and many more BUT

If it were not for these failures in life, i would not be the Kenneth your know and see today, i would have learn to be humble, helpful, kind, grateful and many more which only a year of writing will finish.

FAILURE is always A HARD ROAD TO TAKE,
FAILURE is always A BITTER PASS,
FAILURE is HAUNTS OUR MEMORY,
but
FAILURE can be learn,
FAILURE can be mend and heal,
Learn your failure,
Conquer your failure,
Rid the bad and sow the good,
In the end we shall taste success.

For my closing, please take your time to RELAX! Take it away Mika!

I really miss talking

Ok i know it seems and sounds weird but its not about missing talking but miss talking with someone.

Its been sometime since we had a face to face conversation cause for a long time it was just short talks, very short talks, its like hi bye kinda thing and usually us guys are very arrogant and trying to act cool, we guys are like you wanna talk talk, you dont want to talk, i dont care BUT i cant do that, its just not me, cause somewhere inside of me really wants to talk with her again.

Its hard to start back communication because it would be awkward for both of us, its like out of the blue we suddenly start talking to each other again and of course i will be at a loss for words and topics to talk on, then it would be like the movies where there would a moment of awkward silence, just looking around cause we will be lost and confuse.

One thing i learn is that some girls are not very open like guys who at anytime would try to keep the flow going on but girls once they freak out or know your there, they would rather head for their friends and its ok because you cant blame her if she is scared or confuse, normal human reaction but i really want to talk with her again, it would be nice to have a conversation again.

Its never gonna be easy and of course there will be more efforts and trying to do but i will have to be patience and like a friend of mine told me there must be a point to start and you need to start in a group conversation.

As much as i miss and really want to just talk with her again, there are barriers i must respect and rules to abide by but one things for sure i got to be confident and not so negative towards myself, trust in my confidence and self esteem and of course we must first learn to love ourself before we can love others.

My Dalmation Happy

If you have a moment, please share a moment of silence for my pet Dalmation Happy who went home to be with the Lord yesterday.

Happy Wong

Born:16/09/2001

Went home to doggy heaven:16/10/2009

Loyal,Faithful,loving,Caring best friend.

You will always be in my heart.



I Love you Happy,I will never forget you.

Dead by sunrise: Crawl back in

Sometimes I look at my own face
And I don't know who I am
I see a face of everyone I know
Buried underneath my skin

I don't want to be like them
I want to crawl back in

Its hard to think of anything I haven't heard before
I hear these voices in my head
It could be mine but I'm not sure
I hear their trying to be who I think they should be
Why won't they leave me alone
I can't deny it I try to fight it
But I'm losing control

I don't want to be like them
I want to crawl back in

Don't want to lose my innocence
Don't want the world second guessing at my heart
Won't let your lies take a piece of my soul
Don't want to take your medicine
I want to crawl back in

Sometimes I lie
Sometimes I crawl
Sometimes I feel like I want to die

I don't want to be like them
I want to crawl back in

Don't want to lose my innocence
Don't want the world second guessing at my heart
Won't let your lies take a piece of my soul
Don't want to take your medicine
I want to crawl back in

This is what i am going through

Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain


Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time


As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man


Go easy on my conscience
'Cause it's not my fault
I know I've been taught
To take the blame


Rest assured my angels
Will catch my tears
Walk me out of here
I'm in pain


As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doing all I can
To be a better man


Once you've found that lover
You're homeward bound
Love is all around
Love is all around


I know some have fallen
On stony ground
But Love is all around


Send someone to love me
I need to rest in arms
Keep me safe from harm
In pouring rain


Give me endless summer
Lord I fear the cold
Feel I'm getting old
Before my time


As my soul heals the shame
I will grow through this pain
Lord I'm doin' all I can
To be a better man



I am doing all i can to be a better man but every time is just failures after failures

Incubus I miss you (acoustic)

To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain.
So would I be out of line if I said,
I miss you.

I see your picture, I smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days, but already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care
and I miss you.

Love without talking

The video says it all;
Life might be simple but
Life is still Beautiful
with LOVE around

Backstreets Back!!! ....... again?!

When things seems to be against you

I am going through a time of trouble now, a time where failure is always nearby, where hard work never seems to pay off, where confidences gets crushed and lowered, where patience is pushed to the limits, when everything seems so wrong and out of place.

Its at these times where it makes you wonder alot about the life you have now, you start thinking back what has happen, what you've went through, what has happen so far. Its always a relapse, it comes back once in a while, and usually you will always come back with the same answer, nothing seems to be going my way.

These times always come when you are at your best, when you have a new you, a new confidence, a new strenght but then it backfires, down you go into a world of disappointment and failure.

One questions remains, Is there any hope for people like me?

We keep the positive energy, we strive on postive strenght but we have our limits and we fall down tired of the fight, its times like these where we really need love and support because it is at these times no one fully understands the pain we go through.

I Hope things will be better
I Hope I can continue to hang on
I Hope I will be able to find happiness in these hard times
I Hope I will continue to believe that one day all of this will be gone and
I Hope I can find Love
I Hope all my hard work does not go to waste
I Hope I can shed a tear of Happyness one day

Life is too short to be someone else

I read a comment by a anonymous person on the left hand side of my chat box and what struck me the most was the word 'VANITY' and the phrase "life is too short to be someone else"

I was not sure what the word vanity, so thanks to my good friend wikipedia, i went online to find the definition and what it means is

Vanity
excessive belief in one's own abilities or attractiveness to others

wooo thats quite deep, but it does make sense, we are vain in ourselves at times, believing that good looks conquers all other triads when sometimes its better to look at the heart and i must say that i am not guilty of being vain at times and of course preferring looks over personality.

Its true that we must not let vanity get the better of ourselves cause that is what the media is teaching us nowadays, tricking us to believe that beauty is everything, big arms, tight abs, a slim figure, hot body, big breast, small waist and what not nonsense to the point that we are poison in our mind to try to look as beautiful as the people we see on tv or magazine or any other media because we believe too much that good looks come first before everything else.


The phrase "life is too short to be someone else" , the meaning varies from all our point of view but the general meaning is there.

To me this phrase really gave me a hit, all these time i have been trying to be someone else, trying to be cooler, trying to be good looking, trying to be a super model, trying to be a ladies men, trying to be someone else better than myself, me 'Kenneth Wong'

I have realize that i was always trying to be someone else cause through the years of my life, some people have found the someone else of me better than the normal Kenneth wong, thats why i am always pressuring myself to be better than what i am capable of when all i needed what to be just myself when i should have been true to my heart and be my own true-self, i should not have let myself go through so much suffering and changes to satisfy someone else rather i should have done the changes for my own good, my own self.

yes we want to be beautiful but we must learn not to overdo ourselves, not to put too much pressure on ourselves, we must make sure that we are doing the right thing for the right reason.

Be beautiful for yourself and not others.

One of my good friend once told me that losing weight is a life changing thing, it changes character,looks and so much more but the most important part we miss out is a change of our heart.

why should I/we follow the worlds order? Why should i/we use beauty as a tool to get a relationship? Why should i/we be lying to others when i/we should be our true self?

Why cant I/We use my/our hearts and personality to find our partner in life?

A girl once told me that yes they are different ways that people find love, some use beauty to find love, some use their charm, some use their skills and etc but do you think this love will last long, would you be able to keep beauty, charm,skills and etc forever until your olden days to keep the love burning?

This is the love we should avoid, its a love that leaves you when you have lost that particular triad,you will leave each other just because honey you don't have that beauty,charm,skills and etc anymore.

Than there is another way which people find love, these people use their heart and personality to find love. Do you think this love will last a lifetime? would you be able to be your true-self from your heart to your personality? will they change until the end time? Can you use your heart and personality to keep that love going on until the day death do you part?

This is the love we should follow, its a love that last a lifetime, you will never leave each other. This is a life-long love that will conquer all.

Credit goes to Kar inn for inspiring me to write this out, for pointing me into the right direction, Thank you kim and i hope your love will be a life-long one =)

People its high time we get rids of the lies that the media throws towards us, its time to take a step of faith and start to be ourseves once again wherever you are, whenever and whoever you are!

Be your true-self and do not let vanity get a better hold of you!

I also would like to take this opportunity to thank all those who have been there to comfort and guide me in my time of hardship and confussion

It doesn't matter how hard you try,if you dont have it you cant get it

Something came to my mind today, you can never get somethings if you don't have a certain triad.

Many people except few of my friends dont know my life changing story of how i came from being so fat to being fit and i dont want to tell it anymore, long story short i lost weight to impress a girl and the girl was not impressed, now i am left hanging.....The past will be the past.

So here i was a new man, ready with a new confidence to take on any challenge in the world. So being a man as i am, i did a very harsh move, in other words i played with fire and got burned.

I taught after loosing weight, looking better than before, being fit and not fat,building muscles and getting contacts just to look better, i taught i would have a leverage this time but as it turns out i did not have the extra hand to win the game.

The lesson i got this time is no matter how much I've changed inside or outside, i will always and still be the same old Kenneth Wong.

No matter how many kilometer's you've run, how many aching muscles you've got, how heavy of a weight you lifted, how much of blood and sweat you have given off, how much tears you've cried, how much disappointment and victory you went through.

If you don't have the looks and criteria to match, you cant have it. That is just really pityfull and unfair.

A funny day a week

EUREKA! i am right now sitting in front of my com doing my usual stuff when my brain gave me a brainstorm and then a light bulb came on,THHIING! ohh shinny @-@

As many of the form 6ers know that this week we had started our so called new format of schooling and instead of ending at the normal time of 1.05pm, we are ending at 3.20pm everyday except Friday, TGIF! So this week we were doing really mundane stuff like drawing posters which i ended up drawing a cicak instead of a dragon,lol! and the other day we did research on whether or not sex educations should be introduced in school,BORING...and today we had to decorate our class in conjucnction with the merdeka month coming up soon.

So as usual being myself,Ken the man. I went a bit looney, in other words i lost it because imagine i have to stay back so late in school,its bad enough i have to be in school uniform,i have to eat stinking canteen food which i personally think is unhealthy and overpriced! and just when i am on my diet and body building plan, i feel the lack of nutriteints now everyday*arghh* So today in class instead of decorating, my old playful self of course came back to me,i went around doing crazy thing,acting silly and just plain stupid at times but one things for suer i sure love doing it,it made people laugh even myself.

So i was thinking, in todays society we are facing stress everyday,little things also will stress us out. Toilet cannot flush...stress... Steplar no more bullet...stress.....sweating around...stress.

as i was thinking back about today,i realize, hey laughter is really the best medicince there is. So why not nowadays in school,colleges, or even your workplace, we have a funny day a week.

A day where we can just joke around and have fun doing silly things, being crazy and just laughing around and best of all we get to enjoy doing it, when its work,its still work but on that particular day we are given permission to act silly abit just to lighten the burden and stress in the workplace.

For example,today we were decorating our class with the malaysia flags,ahh opportunities,i took the flag and started playing around with it, acting as the first malaysian to win the olympics,running around the corridor, acting as MalaysiaMan the first chinese superhero for malaysia and of course acting as lady liberty of malaysia by dressing myelf with the malaysia flag and wearing a handmade flower crown.

I guess my whole point is to let you people know that we never too old or young to be funny once in a while,just imagine the laughter and smile you put on peoples face,such a niec sight to see and whats best is the good feeling you feel after that. So go out there just enjoy the day by having fun, go sillly crazy nuts anything to brighten up your day and others.

So henceforth i declare every thursday and friday as funny day, you can join me if you want to as well, we can start this new revolution called the laughing people!

Transformer 2 is the movie of the year

Last saturday i went to catch transformer 2 revenge of the fallen with my family in Tropicana city gsc and Finally after weeeeeeeekkkkkssss of waiting i get to catch the movie i always wanted tpo watch this year and it was worth the wait.

Transformers 2 revenge of the fallen was the bomb,great storyline with humour,romance,thriller,action and most of all heart felt emotions were flying from the kissing to the figthing to the dead of a fellow autobot to the plot of the story. To me everything was laid out so nicely, the storyline was very good most of all the robots were made at their best both autobots and decepticons.

I love the way the movie still keep the original voices of each of the transformers especially my favourite decepticon SOUNDWAVE, ohh when i heard him speak, at first though i am sure they could not copy the voice that the cartoon did but waooo the voice sounded better than the cartoon one giving it a more sinister tone but its a pity he did not came down and fight but if he did, it would be a one sided battle as it is already.

So i would give trnaformers 2 revenge of the fallen 10stars for great cgi, great actors, great humour, great storyline, great battle, great voiceover,great scenery and most of all the great making of the Transformers.

Also i went to cacth Ice Age 3, one word FUNNY! my favourite part is the part where they accidently got stuck in this green gas which makes them laugh to death but they folled around especially the part where they copied a;vin and the chipmunks.

Nickelback- If today was your last day

My best friend gave me the best advice
He said each day's a gift and not a given right
Leave no stone unturned, leave your fears behind
And try to take the path less traveled by
That first step you take is the longest stride

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had, if today was your last day?
What if, what if, if today was your last day?

Against the grain should be a way of life
What's worth the price is always worth the fight
Every second counts 'cause there's no second try
So live like you're never living twice
Don't take the free ride in your own life

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of?
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

If today was your last day
Would you make your mark by mending a broken heart?
You know it's never too late to shoot for the stars
Regardless of who you are

So do whatever it takes
'Cause you can't rewind a moment in this life
Let nothing stand in your way
'Cause the hands of time are never on your side

If today was your last day and tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past?
Donate every dime you had?

And would you call those friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories?
Would you forgive your enemies?
And would you find that one you're dreaming of
Swear up and down to God above
That you'd finally fall in love if today was your last day?

Another weeks just fly's by

Yeah the weekend is nearing again but when i think of it. Its just another big disappointment because I am missing out some relax and enjoyment time.


Its been three weeks or more since i hit the cinema's to catch a single movie especially transformers 2 which i've been dying to watch since the premier and now there is just so much more to catch, harry potter, ice age and many more and the saddest thing is i would have to miss it one way or another, its either i have some errands to clear, church things to do or there is no one to teman me to go watch together, haizzz the stress

And people always ask me why am i always wanting a relationship and this is one of the apparent reason because sometimes when friends aren't there. You just want the one special person to share this moments with,you know to spice things up and make it more enjoyable and i think some of you might understand what i mean.


And here i am losing out on all the good things in life, somehow it feels so unfair,what did i do to deserve all of this pain? Having a life that is challenging, sacrificing without gaining a single thing. Somehow i feel like i cant find that group of close friends to spend time with like the group or guys and girls you see together with,they just go all out and enjoy themselfs whereelse i am tight down with so much rejection and not that they reject cause they dont want to spend time with but because they are busy and i understand and i hope it is.

The one thing now that is bothering me now is the biggest sacrifice i made, losing weight and trying to look good and yet now i am still single, its so depressing and stressful, jogging until my feet's bleed, hours on exercise's trying to get that good look, doing my best to shed off that extra pounds of fat all for what? In the end what i gain is still the same, life seems to be the same as before, almost depressing,bored,lonely at times and sad.


All the tears,blood and sweat, all the pain, all the heartache and in the end looking not the way i want it to be and not achieving my dreams.hahhh..........




Well enough of my constant whinning and sad moments because i know when i get back to my life, people are gonna read this and call me emo. I hope you all understand what its like to suffer but DONT spare yourself the pain and enjoy your happy life, i am happy for you and i hope you all are happy for me as well for anything you see fit.


Looking on the brigther side of life, i ......hmmm let me think..................car......nope......nahhh.......too....hmmm stucked here.....hold on for a while,let me think.............

Ahh yes check out this music by nickelback title If today was your last day, really meaningful lyrics.

Stuck in a crossroad

~*Alarm ringing!!!*~ uhh what time is it? Its 6.00am in the morning, why am i awake?A That's the first question i ask myself each morning and the never failing answer would be its time to get up and get ready for school!

Right now i am currently doing form 6 in Smk Taman Sea, to those who dont know what is form 6, its tertiary education. So the story goes as i started out first at Smk Bu1 then after a month or more and a load of paper work, i got the green light to transfer to Smk Taman Sea and then upon my arrival in Taman Sea, i wanted to change my course from a science course to a Arts course. So more paperwork to be done!

But the whole reason of this blog will be revealed now.

Because i wanted to change from a science course to a arts course, the new procedure as stated by the minister of education is that i would have to sit for a course evaluation test, so its just a papaer consisiting of 160 jobs and all you had to do is to answer a yes or no to the job whether you would consider taking this job.

So after 20minutes or so i finished answering the paper, the counselor came back with the answer sheet to come out with my results. so counting and marking and more counting....Minutes later.... my results came out

Its like a personality test to see how much your scores lies on each attributes....So my results conclude one thing

The counselor looked at my results, she was puzzled and confused with my results and the first thing she said looking at my results."One thing i can say that is your unsure of what you want to do cause all this while i have students come in to do the test and they are sure with what they want to do may it be Arts or science." i was still not sure what she meant then she asked me what is my job occupation, I strated blankly at the counselor because i dont know what occupation i want when i grow up.

The counselor answered back this proves it all, your results shows that you are stuck in the middle,you dont like all the mathematics and all the teory things but you are good at maths as it shows on your spm result. On the other hand, you want a job which is sosiable and is enterprising, meaning that you are pulling yourself two ways right now.

At that moment it struck me as to how come i am feeling under so much pressure and stress recently like i am puling myself apart because deep inside myself i am struggling with my studies, I dont want to do science subject because i will not cope well, literally afraid of the subjects,on the other hand i dont want to take the arts subject because i am not into Economics,busniness, history and so on.

Th counselor continued:" Right now at this moment i can tell that you are unsuer about form 6 as well, you are undecisive of what you want to do because your stuck in the middle. You dont want the science subject because you cant cope with it, where as if your put in the Art stream, your just pushing yourself to do the subjects. I pity you if i put you in arts or science, you will push yourself so much."

After talking back and forth to cut the long story short, we both came to an agreement that going to college would be the best option for me now then there also lies the problem because i dont know what course i want to take,another crossroad. So i would have to see the college counselors to help me out again.

Crossroads, now i am stuck in it,plenty of it, i've got to explain why i want to dropout of form 6 and go to college to my parents, then i've got to choose which course i want to take.

Be grateful if you are in college or have made up your mind about your future because its not nice when your stuck in a crossroad,everything seems so unclear adn blur. Worse part of all, its your own decision to make! no one else to blame when you regret of your decision.

I dont know how i will get out of this sticky situation but one for sure is that a decision has to be made soon and the true charateristics of my friends and family will be revealed to me, to separate those who are caring and supportive and those who dont give a care.

Be gratefel for whereever you are in especially those who are already on the path they have drawn out and made their mind up, thats good for you.

Be thankful to those who have a chance to migrate overseas out of this country, not to say you left us and its a evil thing, the good thing is you left for a better place, a better life, a better future and we are happy for you but please come back with a grateful heart and dont whine, you dont know how tough things are over here.

To end this blog, i am stuck with no solution at hand, no clear path to take and i dont want to regret making the wrong decision again. The next time when you are stuck in a crossroad,you'll understand how it feels.

My advice for everybody now is to be sure of the path you want to take in the future, dont end up like me, making one two many regretful decisions in life that make me end up in more crossroads.

Also dont let others bring down the path you have drawn out but be sure of that path your taking, a few question you can consider asking about that path your taking
1) Are you sure this is what you want to do?
2)Will it guarante a secure and fruitful future?
3)Is it in your interest to take this path?

question no 3 is very important because if your going to take that path because your parents or friends or someone says that taking this path is good for you, yes it is but believe me if your not interested in doing it and just slumber go and take on the path, your pushing yourself and you will DEFINITELY BURN OUT AND FAIL! because that is what is happening to me now, another advice to heed.

Above it all, one thing you we can be sure when this kind of things happen, we see who is those who really care for us and again those who dont even give a care.

Got tag again,oh no

Kim i did the tag had to kena so late at 12.30a.m some more. Somehow i don't know why but i had a feeling i sure kena.

1. Beside your lips, where is your favourite spot to get kissed?
not so sure but my cheek or forehead or anywhere would be fine,haven got kissed yet so dont really know x(

2. How did you feel when you wake up this morning?
sleepy,groggy,frustrated and pain on my back.

3. Who was the last person/people you took photo with?
Kim,hairy n gene

4. Would you consider yourself spoilt?
Oh no i am never spoilt.

5. Will you ever donate blood?
Sure why not

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was the opposite of the sex? Nope

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
Nope. I'm not so mean.

8. What does your last text message say?
sorry press wrong button,am home safely now. Ur have fun.

9. What are you thinking about right now?
Will tomorrow be any better?

10. Do you need somone to be with you right now?
Yes, that would be very nice and relaxing to me.

11. What was the time you went to bed last night?
12.30am

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing right now?
Not wearing one now xP

13. Is someone on your mind right now?
Yes

14. Who is the last person who texted you?
Sasha

Ten lucky person to do this quiz.
1. Kim 2. Yew leung
3. Sam
4. wai yan
5. Jia hong
6. wai kar
7. wai kar
8. Kenneth wong
9. Kendra
10.Ken The man

15. Who is no.2 having a relationship with?
Dont know about his love life

16. Is no.3 a male or a female?
Male

17. If no.1 and no.7 get together would it be good?
There friends anyway

18. What is no.1 studying?
From 6 science

19. When was the last time you chatted with them?
most of the time

20. Is no.4 single?
Yeah

21. Say something about no.2?
He is my childhood friend

22. What do you think about no.3 and no.6 being together?
Uh-Uh oh no no but again anything is possible

23. Describe no.9
She's SASSY and HOT! SZHHHH

24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight?
haha i dont know what to do cause no 7 acutally suppose to be blank cuz i dont know anyone else to put

25. Do you like no.8?
OHH of course I do but he could be looking better xD

The prayer

Most of our life's we pray or wish for something that we want to make our life's better in a way but we at times get dissappointed as to why that one thing never happened or turned up,for example you wish/pray for let say a phone but it does not turn out in front of you F.O.C the way you wanted it or maybe even people giving away to you.

Well I watched the movie evan almigthy and there was that one part where morgan freeman portraying God was speaking to evan's wife Joan. i'll let you watch the video to explain the rest of the story but

One part i find interesting was when God said if someone pray's for patience does He give them patience or a chance to be patient, if somebody prayed for a closer family does He give them a closer family or does He give them the opportunity to have a closer family.

So whatever we wish or pray for the paradox is do you get that wish or prayer or does He give you an opporunity to get that wish or prayer?

I can never go back to right the wrongs

Have you ever look back at the past and wish you could change what you've done so that something good might happen?

Well we all look at the past,we see laughter,tears,happiness and many more. we tend to get nostalgic at times as well, wondering where all those good times have gone,wishing to go back to that place once again.

Thats what i am feeling now a days,looking back at my life,the struggles and happy moments i had.
going through spm,losing weight,chasing girls haha and of course growing up to be a young adult.

But one memory and biggest regret that will always be etched in my mind is the failed relationships. I regret not getting fit and handsome when i was younger, i regret not looking my best in highschool and of course plenty more. I really wish i could go back to see the first girl i tried to start a relationship with and try to work things out, i wish i could've been with her, so many things to tell her but i dont have the courage to tell her, i am afraid i might scare her.

Memory's will always be the past, we can look at it be regretful of the past, be happy with it or anything else but we can enver go back to the way it was.

What we can do is learn from it,move on in life,and be a better person in the future.

All is easier said than done =)

The past is a memory,the present is a gift, the future for you to behold.

Answering a Tag! Got tagged

First of all the tagger is kar inn.I have never done all this tagging thing
before and i found out were suppose to answer the questions,so here i go.

1) What are you doing now?
Watching American idol (Kriss won by the way), answering this tag,listening to some music

2)When was the last time u had fast food?
On wednesday in mcd's with eugene,kar inn,hairy,and sasha.

3)Would you spend money on food or cloths?
I would turn more towards cloths at time and sometimes i spend more on food.So its a win win situation ;P

4)How much do you love your parents?
As much as they need and deserve

5)Who was the last person who called you?
On phone,my sis. On social, most of my friends xP

6)What would you do to someone you hate very much?
Try to work things out with him so that person wont hate me and we can become friends. I dont hate anyone by the way.

7)How much would you spend to make someone you love happy?
As long as they are happy,i would spend but not to the extend of me becoming their atm machine.

8)What is the last movie you watched?
Fast & furious 4...wasn't that good and i slept through half the movie.

9)Who did you watch it with?
Mark and brandon,my church brothers

10)Where are you now?
At home

11)What were you doing 7 hours ago?
Just coming home from school and cooking my lunch

12)Who are you thinking of?
that special someone,where are you? when will our turn come to meet?

13)What is the one thing you are regretting now?
not getting fitter at a young age and failing on my first two attempts at relationship

14)Your happiest moment today?
Didn't really have one, yeah i know sad right :(

15)What do you think is not sufficient each day?
Enjoyment in life,i can never seem to come home one day and feel satisfied or happy or feeling like i had enjoyment

16)What is the best thing that happened to you last month?
Meeting back with laura for her 18th birthday. Priceless reaction.

17)Do you use maxis,digi,u-mobile or celcom?
MaXiZ

18)Anywhere you feel like going?
genting highlands theme park

19)Who are you thinking of now?
Laura

20)Who was the last person you hugged?
Eugene lol,some random manly hug

21)What is love to you?
Love to me is what keeps us together as one no matter what happens, its the bond that links us together as one. Without love we will never have Life.

Tag 7 people:
Ok since i very lazy to tag, so whoever is reading this you want to do the tag or not i am ok with it.

Ps going to watch wolverine this saturday,so long of waiting only can watch. movie also sudah out of date.