Spm year a Faith tester?

S.P.M is just a breeze, S.P.M aiyah nothing wan lah, S.P.M is not that hard one, chill. S.p.m what is that? and etc. This is what i hear every time i question my seniors of their past SPM experience, somehow they always say it easy but now as my heart beats at a faster rate, as my breath gets heavier, as the sweat rolls down my face, as i begin to be big eyed the fact that ITS coming and it is my turn now to sit for SPM in just three weeks from now.

Spm is always easier said than done, and i can see why my seniors always make it seem easier because they have passed it and they are being kind not to scare us by saying wah Spm so hard man, you going to die from sleepless nights, frustrations, regrets and failures, you got to sacrifice so much just to pass this one government exam. I guess if someone said that to me, i will straight away panic. Yes Spm is a government exam and most people will be worried or stress because we have so much topics, lessons, subjects, exercise to cover and worse of all is that we don't know what to expect to be coming out for the Spm test especially history exam, where most people dread over 20 chapters of facts that can come out as a question from anywhere.

I myself personally have been studying hard to make sure i meet the grades especially God's grades. There are times where i feel that my faith is being tested as to how well i trust my Big Daddy up there to guide me through this examination. Honestly saying, i have times where i am so worried and stress out that i feel like giving up, there are times where i see myself answering a blank paper especially history essay but again God intercedes and say "O you of little faith" and this hits me on my head as i have not been depending on God to guide me through this Spm examination.

"O you of little FAITH!!" and its quite true that when circumstances seems against us or they is a hard and challenging road in front of us, we tend to panic and forget about our ultimate solution, GOD! I am not saying that we are condemned for not having trust God but God is in a way trying to reestablish that Faith towards him cause we sometimes tend to stray from God and forget about him, so he needs to put in a dire situation where we try everything to solve our problems until we run out of solution and realize we forgot all about God, our Father in heaven who can solve all things Big and Small.

One thing God also reminded me about in this period of time is that HE is the alpha and omega, THIS IS MY FATHERS WORLD! One night i was so worried until i lost sense of myself. So being a restored man of God, yes i have fallen but through God's grace i was and am restored, "the prodigal son". So i prayed to God,while just worshiping and praising him, the song "this is my fathers world" started to play in my head and my Mp3, coincidence, i don't think so, the song reminded me that our Father in heaven create the earth and us, so He is like the ultimate secret to success in exams and life, why should i worry? When I have God the creator, alpha and omega, the first and the last to see me through Spm with me in his Loving arms, to make sure that he plans out a way that we will go through it triumphantly and with success.

Another thing God showed me was that i am not the only one who is going to sit for Spm. Many, billions, trillions have sat it before me and it is not a CRIME, IT IS NOT EMBARRASSING to seek my seniors and mentors for guidance on how they face Spm? IN this time, What did they do to have that reassurance and confidence to pass with flying colors. I have to thank all those who have shown me support and given me some very good tips, but the best of all is one sms that i got from my senior that just sat for Spm last year. She reminded me that she went through it, her brothers went through it and they all did well with God guiding them and bringing them through it, so God will never abandon you or forsake you, if he can help the people before me through Spm, why cant he now? At this moment i broke down to know that my faith was so diminished that again i forgot that God is our creator, our all seeing Father, he will NEVER EVER leave you out in the dark, he will always be there to see you through it for good.

No a doubt that i am going to sit for Spm soon, time to buck up and work hard but also pray and seek God even much harder than ever before. There will be many things that i have to sacrifice in order to do well for Spm but it will be worth at the end of the road, the nights staying up to study, cutting down on basketball and leisure time, but it will all be worth it at the end because i have God to look onto for help, guidance and support.

One common question that i hear from the streets these days is "Aiyooh i am darn scared that i wont do well, i am scared i will fail lah dude." Yeah sometimes i also feel like in that situation but with God by my side, i will not FAIL, i SPEAK AGAINST THAT SAYING OF FAILURE because God loves his child too much to see him fail. And A's is not everything, its only something, we got to remember that no matter what results that i and others will be getting is God's plan from the start and he will make a way when there seems to be no way, all you have to do is to TRUST AND OBEY.

Well thats all i have for now. Please pray for me as i will sitting for Spm, pray for my brethen and sisters also cause it is not only me who will be going through mountains of challenges but also many others. Your prayers will much be appreciated, and of course lets also not forget those sitting for STPM as well.

Reality or Fantasy?

Well today i was using the computer and i stumbled upon the music video of Shakira whenever wherever, then my mind started to drift into my own world where i wish that i would met a girl that was as pretty and beautiful as shakira and of course as fun as her, seeing that girl dancing to the song and seducing me, but POOF! all that was just a fantasy and that got me thinking how really amazing we humans are.

Looking up the dictionary, reality means "the state of things as they actually exist". Reality is fact, it is a reality that the world is a beautiful place, it is a reality that you have a loving family, it is a reality that you have a relationship, it is a reality that you are working now, it is a reality that we are living in Malaysia, it is a reality that we all have hard times, it is a reality that we all strive to be better in life. Reality is a very scary stage to be in if you ask me personally but we have to be in it, bottom line we have no choice but to face reality because everyday and everything is a reality, ( I hope you know what i mean, if you don't, please give me a call and i will explain it to you. 017-3612220) Let me give you a scenario, one day you are working and earning a living but you wish you can not work but still earn money, but reality steps in and tells us that with earning comes working. For the benefit of those studying, everyday you study and next thing you know its SPM or PMR or major exams, and we wish that we could NOT study but still get good results but the reality is that we have to study to excel, see what i mean. REALITY is everyday everything in everyway of our life's.

Fantasy on the other hands means a situation imagined by an individual or group, which does not correspond with reality but expresses certain desires or aims of its creator. For short fantasy is a place of our day dreams. Fantasy will always be with us, Why do we fantasize? Well that easy, we fantasize because we have a desire for that something or someone but we know it cant never happen or be obtain, therefore we fantasize to satisfy our inner desires.
Fantasy is an addiction to all of us because we cannot deny we have never day dream or go into thoughts. Fantasy is a very nice and happy place, it is a place of satisfaction, it is a place of your souls desire answered, it is a place of our wildest dreams but fantasy can be a place of triggering self pity, depression, lustful desires and etc, rarely it can trigger excellence. Let me give you an example, a teenage boy sees this pretty and beautiful girl, not a doubt his fantasy would be to have a relationship with her but sometimes our 'Man Brain' goes out of control and lustful thoughts starts to fly in.

Reality, a painful truth in life. Fantasy, a place of inner desires satisfied. Reality....Fantasy..... We live in both of them and they both can be a dangerous state to be in, facing reality is harsh and often it kills us. Fantasy is a place of our desires we enjoy being in, but the truth hurts in the end to know its all a lie.

Somehow i find reality to be helpful at times to wake us up but i also find fantasies to be enjoyable at times but there must be limits ( Guys you know what i mean). We all wish that our fantasy can come true and i am here to say IT CAN but of course it must be something logic like getting a good living or having a relationship, these can be accomplish by working hard because reality says with earning comes working but fantasies like flying and being like a superhero, let it just be a fantasy as it is.

Reality and fantasy, these two did not came to be by accident but God the almighty created them. Fantasy is to satisfy our desires once in a while or in simple terms can be a kick start for us, like a goal in life. Reality is there to stop us times of thinking unreasonable, reality is there to wake us up of our fantasy at times. See how amazing God put these tow together, Fantasy to bring about dreams, Reality to keep it in check.

Well i have one advice for all of us, DO NOT LET fantasies bring you down, let it be a challenge to you, let it be a challenge to accomplish that REASONABLE AND SENSIBLE desire you want. Don't give up so fast, you want to have that girl, start working hard, do your homework, go workout get fit, look good and you know the rest Guys, you want that car, study hard get a good job, work hard earn enough and buy that car. NEVER SAY I GIVE UP, always say I WILL GET (insert desires like that car that girl and etc), fantasy is there to be a jump start, make full use of it. remember reality is there to keep your fantasies in check not to bear you down.

Well thats all i have for now, till my nest interesting thing come about. Take care and God bless.

We share common pain in life yet we dont understand each others suffering

Pain, in dictionary terms means is a typical sensory experience that may be described as the unpleasant awareness of a noxious stimulus or bodily harm. Individuals experience pain by various daily hurts and aches.

Yes its a true fact that we a very complex being has a sure point of weakness, one thing that would tear us down and bring a hurtful teaching. This pain cannot be seen in the flesh like a wound after falling, the scars does not heal like a scratch wound or inflammation, this scar remain forever in our heart and time comes when it will bleed again, again and again, yes this pain is the inner wound we all experience. Rejection, failures in studies, failure in love, failure in different areas, relationship problems, disappointment's, rage, depression, sorrow, the silent tears that hides it self in us.

We all experience this in our life, we the human race have this common pain yet we don't seem to learn not to inflict it to others,instead of helping we make it worse, instead of being concern, we reject out of fear of being too concern to a depressed person, scared that they will just get themselves in a whole lot of trouble. How utterly ridiculous we can be sometime and i am not saying i don't do it myself sometimes, we cant deny that we all have at least done something hurtful to someone else either consciously or not.

The funny thing is how come when we try to help that friend in need, sometimes we don't know that all they want is an earpieces for just a while and not a microphone to point out the obvious mistake they already know they are facing. Its good we are at least trying to help that someone but please don't tell them cliche thing, they already know it all, just sit and listen, if need be give them a crying shoulder or a hug, cause thats what they really need in this kind of time.

another clear thing is how we tend to make matters worse sometimes and i can be a witness to that, once i had some problems with the 'bird n bees' ahemm, not the little brother down there but relationship. I was baffled how come i tend to lose out the girls i meet, so i went into a period of disappointment, my friends were very kind by showing me support, trying to comfort me and show me the way. But what made me very upset is after that he himself went to get a girlfriend and starts to show off in front of me, i don't blame him for getting a relationship, its great he found a partner but knowing my situation, he did not have to proudly show off his girl, its ok to showoff but not right in my face because this inflicts an unintended wound, your giving me a clear message that YOU SUCK AT THIS, look how easily i can get a girlfriend. I don't have a grudge against him but this makes me want to be better than him.

My whole point is we all know the pain that we go through, cant we help each other to get through this stage of hurt and suffering, cant we help these people? Cant we help them with their problems? then we all can live life peacefully and happily.

Do you the pain is unseen but it has a great effect on that someone, like i say it can even kill someone. This pain is already icon by the generation as a 'X' sign or commonly made famous by the band three day grace as one-X.

Feel that God is far away and not answering your prayers?

This must be one of the post where i will share something i've learned from God the HARD and PAINFUL WAY. The main reason is that if he does not break my heart then i will never learn and understand his teachings.

Well frankly i am not here to write just another post but i am writing this based on my life experience and its not just a story about another guy but a LIFE story.

I was experiencing dryness and again i got lost in the crossroads of life, huh funny how i always end up in another cross road after just such a short time. Anyways yes i was very down spiritually and emotionally and physically, i was not rejoicing in the holidays instead i was mourning, haizz emo kenneth again, hrmphh no good. That was the one thing that baffled me, instead of enjoying what i have that is one week off of school, wee, i was just sitting there and mourning over stupid little things, man i am so weird but of course everything i go through has a lesson behind it.

Why was i mourning and feeling down? Well cause yet again these 'voices' came and slap me to tell me to look at what i have and literally pulling me down and tell me that i am a nobody, questioning me How come God has not give you what you have asked for? How come he ha not answered your prayer that is your heart desires? I was shock as yes its true, all the questions end up being answered yes He has not answered anything, so i went into mourning, knowing no hope, and whats worse was i am suppose to be getting ready for a spiritual battle soon with the church and here i was a soldier of God wearing down my armor and quitting, right even before the spiritual battle has begun, losing hope when i know that the battle has been already won because we have God by our side.

Then i went no mourning the whole week then on friday night thanks to my youth group, as they were praying and just worshiping God, making sure they are ready for the PJpd (Petaling Jaya Prayer Day) on saturday. I just could not praise God anymore cause i have lost all my hope and faith in him. Then later i was so sad that i went on breaking down outside of the prayer circle, i was just weeping and asking God what has happen to me, what have i become? Then they called me back and prayed for me and WAOO OUR GOD IS REALLY AN AWESOME GOD!!! he forgive me of all my sins, and cured me, bringing me back to his arms again and just taking me back like the prodigal son, its was very touching and life changing.

The reason why i felt so lost and alone, thinking that the Lord has abandon and not answering my prayer is because I was too far ahead of him, he is at point 1, i am already gang huo want to go ahead to point 2, so he has to pull me back to point 1 again, again i forgot to yield my all to him, again i failed by taking the drivers whell and driving ahead in full speed, now thats where patient comes into practice, we have to be patient with God with whatever he provides us with.

Also i learned that God did not answered my prayers because i am not ready for whatever i have prayed for, because i have not put into practice what i have learnt from the word and thus if answering my prayer just like that and seeing that i am not ready for it, it will just kill me.

So two things to learn whenever you fell like this situation i am in:

1)Always be patient and strong, shut out the voices of the devil that tell you things that are not true because you are the SON of GOD, he knows you by name and he has great plans for you even if you feel that you have nothing, OHH believe you have everything that is IN GOD.

2) Slap yourself awake and start being a christian wherever you are, be a shining light and be a cheerful person or whatever God has called you to be and whatever you have prayed for will come to you in time, trust me on this one. *winks*

What is wrong with having BGR?

I came across many people not you nice people but others who tell me that BGR is no good, its a waste of time, its bad for the young.

I been thinking that people should not look at BGR(boy-girl relationship) in a bad way only, there is always two ways at looking at things, take for example TV, the good thing is it keeps you entertained and up to date with the latest news, the bad thing its addicting and you must filter what tv shows to you.

Well same thing as looking at BGR, there is two ways at looking at it, well let me start off with the BAD part since everyone i've come across not you nice readers tell me its so called "BAD" True BGR is also bad, ok i hate using te word bad, let me say this again. True BGR is not good for us, there is a few bad point about it. Well, from my point of view, not following others, here goes:

1) It can end up being the main cause of depression
2) It requires commitment and responsibility
3) It can be addictive to some like those lovely dovy times
4) It may affect ur studies, maybe cannot study cause thiking too much about the girl, haha
5) Sometimes there are little fights which are sometimes memorable and sometimes hurting

Well that is all that i can think off but please forgive me if any of these is not right as i am looking it at my point of view.

Moving on BGR also have some good in it, let us see:

1) You understand the opposite sex better
2) You learn about responsibility
3) You learn about patience and being the man
4) You become more appreciative of things around you but mostly HER
5) You somehow feel happy to know that there is someone special there for you
6) You are happy to know someones love and care for you and vice versa
7) You become a changed man
8) It might become the motivation to become a better person
9) You understand how to handle people better
and many more but of course again, this is from my point of view, so please forgive me if there is anything wrong.

Well then i hope this can make you think a while that you cant always look at things in a bad ways except those that can kill you like smoking, alcohol, sex before marriage, all these bad thing. they are BAD from the beggining.

Always remember, we can be very easily manipulated, if one day someone came up to you and told you that that guy VERY bad, no good. You mihgt be saying oh yeah i did not know and then your go on gossiping about bad things which he never did or is going to do. So next time before just falling for people's saying, stop and think, look at things in two ways, find out the truth behind it like i did.

We should all practice this. LOOK THINGS AT TWO WAYS.

LIfe is like dancing with cinderella

Morning its monday morning and something interesting i found out while listening to the song sang by steve curtis chapman, wohoo that is Cinderella hit me this morning on the radio station while we were coming back from breakfast.

I suggest that you on the song first on the right hand corner before reading this post, as you will understand better what i am writing about whilst hearing the song and the lyrics, really concentrate on the lyrics he is singing, it really is very beautiful. Here is the lyrics:

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you

There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone...

She says he's a nice guy and I'd be impressed
She wants to know if I approve of the dress
She says, "Dad, the prom is just one week away
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

She will be gone

Well, she came home today with a ring on her hand
Just glowing and telling us all they had planned
She says, "Dad, the wedding's still six months away
But I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone

Waoo such a lovely and fantastic song, it really is beautiful and it really touched my heart to such a meodious song, this song even manage to make me teary eyed.

Well this song was wrote by steve curtis chapman in remembrance of his passed away daughter, maria sue chapman, whom was only 5 years old and what happen was one day her brother came back home from school and he was parking his car down the runway to the garage and maria was excited to see her brother came back home, so she ran down the runway and the brother did not manage to stop the car in time, he banged her, she went down, took her to the hospital but they could not save her. Such a sad time for the chapman family but to glory be the father as maria sue chapman is now with our heavenly father in heaven. Let us have one moment of silent for her.

Ok thank you, well i will let you know the real meaning of the song on the video by the right hand side, steve curtis chapman will share it himself.

To me the song plays a different role as i do not have any daughter or kids. But i found out one thing that the cinderella can be anybody in you life and i came to understand that life is like dancing, everytime we met someone we are actually dancing with them in life, swaying left right, moving around subconsiously that is.

It is so beautiful when i found out about this, imagine we have so many cinderella's in life, we are always dancing with these cinderella's, the end of it is how much we appreciate and admire the time we spent dancing together with them, will we just rush it through and faster finish the dance or will we slow things down and take our time to dance with these cinderella slowly and beautifully to each song, hoping it will never end.

What i am trying to say is this that everyday of our lifes we do everything we met everyone, but sometimes we tend to rush thing and just want to get it done when we should actually slowly enjoy what we are doing and appreciate it cause soon it will be gone and you can never repeat it again.

For example, like we met friends everyday, we go yum cha and mamak, we go to work together, subconsiousy we are already dancing with these cinderella, yeah they are the cinderella in your lifes, see how we should treat our friends and family in life, they should be like beautiful and pretty cinderella in our lifes, adore and admire them for once in our lifes, enjoy their company, do whatever it takes to slow things down for once ad enjoy every moment of it.

Charles caleb colton, a famous english cleric, writer and collector quotes this about friends:

"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship....NEVER."

I like to look things at a different prespective

Hi all, well today i like to blog about the way we look and think about something.

Have you ever had moments were everybody was giving a cliche answer for a normal situation but on the other hand you gave a different kind of look, well that is what i do sometimes and maybe i want to look and think about things differently now.

Did you know that our first though about something will be what we expect that thing to be? Did you know that our first though about something will become either something good or bad about the something?

Well the brain is the most amazing and powerful tool in a human i have ever come across, it can make you change, it can even manipulate you, interesting huh? Well just ask all the athletes at the Olympics and they will tell you that sports is 70% mental 30% physical.

One thing i would like to do from now on is that i would think more before actions. I would like to take into consideration about everything around me. I would like to look at things in all sides.

Take for example, you wake up one morning and you go for a jog, you see the sun rise in your local park, to many it will either be Oh no its the sun, aiyoo gonna be so hot later, aiyahyah. or Oh the sun, ok its morning, i better hit home before i get a sunburn or before i start sweating like a pig. or Oh look its the sun, they just glance at it and just continue on their way

But to me, i find it very beautiful everytime i see the rising sun, I would stop what i am doing, I would take a good look at the way the sun rises from the clouds, admire its beautiful rays that penetrates the blue skies and the lightly glowing sunbeam shining down on earth, I would then close my eyes and enjoy the ray of warmth the sun gives out, ahh it is seriously very warm and fuzzy, you should try it yourself,just stop and admire the beauty of this phenomenon, the rising of the sun.

The one thing i really miss when i went to morning class is this, i wake up at either 5.00 or 6.00am to get ready for school and then when i reach school, i wont get a chance to have a great widescreen view of the rising of the sun like i do in my park, and because my class i not facing direct at the sun, i dont get a great full view of the sun.

Yeah so that is one example of how i look differently at things in life. One thing very important i notice if we take time off to enjoy, be grateful and admire what we have even the small things like a cup of coffe in the morning or the people you see in your workplace or school, we find life to be so much more meaningful and life seems so beautiful and just perfect.

I hope that i manage to pass something on to you readers, sorry for being longwinded but truly i really pray hard that your would understand what i am trying to share here, this little changing of thinkings and our looks and perspective of life can change our life's story.

So i leave you with one thing, it does not matter what ever you have, what ever you do, what ever you see, may it be your family, friends, your cup of coffe, your pets, your workplace, your job, your LIFE, jogging, exercising, walking, running, wacthing movie, reading, playing games, using your com, driving, talking, flirting, fellowshiping and etc. ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF IT, dont loos it out while you have it, this things you do might the same routine everyday and yes sometimes it bores you but LIFE CAN BE PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL and WONDERFUL IF YOU COULD JUST ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF IT, even when your alone, what ever you do, dont lament and be sad cause your all alone, enjoy what you are doing.

Thomas jefferson the 3rd president of america who first wrote the declaration of independence for the united state quotes this about life:

"Our greatest happiness does not depend on the condition of life in which chance has placed us, but is always the result of a good conscience, good health, occupation, and freedom in all just pursuits."


What he means is by my understanding, that happiness does not come about in our conditions or place we are in, it comes with us first making sure that everything in life is in a GOOD state.

Sometimes Its better to trust with God's decision

Yup this saturday and sunday was a great weekend.

On saturday i went to smk Catholic high for the 12th annual Bible Knowledge Quiz, boy was it a great time, i really enjoyed my time especially on the LRT ride and the funny thing is after the Bk quiz, i went back home by LRT and my parents called and told me that they will pick me up in the station. So i waited and waited,waited and wait and wait. then they called

'Hello ken, where are you? we are here near the bus stop, we dont see you?'
'I am at the bus stop, i dont see your either, which station are ur in? I am here in Taman Bahagia station.'
'What we are here in the Kelana Jaya station, iayoo never mind we will come get you'

The funniest thing is that they never state which station i was suppose to go, so following my common sense i just went to the station nearest to my home that is Taman Bahagia loh but end up i was suppose to met them at Kelana Jaya.

Well after shopping with my parents at giant, we went back home took a shower and then went to 1U, we went to MPH to read some books, i was just browsing around and then i stumbled upon the men's health magazine, so i was just devouring every piece of information the magazine had on how to get a fit and nice body. After all the reading, wahh i was so thirsty and hungry, so we all decided to go to Coffee bean, we had a chai latte and chicken sandwich, ummmm boy the sandwich it was really filling even after sharing it and the chai latte, emmm boy delicious, mouth watering and satisfying.

Then later it was off to youth for me, we had games, fellowship and makan. Half way we the guys even decided to play a round of table tennis. After that I had the privalage of talking with my best friend KIEW SIEH JIN the KIWI, hehe. get it KIEW and KIWI, haha, ok never mind if its lame.

I was still quite upset and down with what happen with the prom date. so I just shared with him and amazingly he manage to cure me and set me back on track. We talk some more and more and some more until I had to go home.

We all should salute KIEW SIEH JIN for taking the commutor all the way from seremban to selangor just for the BK quiz and youth, and to just see me, SIEH JIN I SALUTE YOU AND RESPECT YOU. Here is a true man and warrior of GOD.

Then after dinner, i was out like a light.

SUNDAY, yea a day of celebration and great joy to be in church to worship and honour our Father in Heaven. Thinking that i was finally cured if my dilemma and broken heart, later that day it came back again, it not that easy as just letting it go, it takes some time to cure. I sat there and my mind was just drifting and wandering, lamenting, sobbing. Just me, myself......

Then came YEW LEUNG, a super duper king kong godzilla dragon tanking food eating not more single caring loving and holy friend of mine. WE just sat and chat and it really made me better and he help set me back on track again.

THANK YOU ALOT YEW LEUNG, your really a great friend.

Well that was my sunday and saturday. Later at 5.00 i would be going for passion, any guys going there, see you and lets ROCK FOR JESUS.

Things never turn out the way you want it to be....

Today is friday and i would be at my happy self, positive and bright. But today was also the day i felt disappointed and crushed into a million pieces, i felt like useless and a loser.

As i wrote i asked the girl to be my prom date and i was waiting patiently for her answer and today was the day that i would have my answer, so as usual today at SMKDJ CF, we had step up step down, with a great band performance by the younger ones and of course the handing over of the posts to the next future leaders. After that it was back home for the rest of us.

As usual i met her outside of school, instead of me first asking her about prom. She straight away answered me and No she cant go because she has none of her friends going with her and she said that there is no place left but i told her that i booked a place for her and because i am the kinda of guy that does not pressure anybody, so i just let here go but she was very kind by apologizing to me and i understand.

But it very sad as this points out something that God does not allow me to form a relationship with her, my dreams crushed... I though i could finallyn impress her to follow me to prom, now it just seems that i have no one special to celebrate prom night with....

I felt very sad and useless and i felt that i did not do enough to impress her, i was so furious at myself, i was angry at myself and all that i've done, why did'nt I just keep fit when i was young? Why was'nt I given a great physique just like the rest of the guys? Why cant i charm her? Why am i not as handsome as the rest? Is there something missing in me that does not work out?

I was just so out and down, so broken, so frustrated, so disappointed, anrgy and so depressed cause i though tht i could finally have something in my life that i would be happy about and proud of, to finally have someone who loves and care for me but that is just all a broken dream now.....

Don't look at the present look at the future

Today i was as usual went to school, came back, had a nap and then later woke up to do my workout but today i felt very low esteemed and my body is just frustrated. My bod and mind did not cooperate with me much today, just constantly throwing negative thoughts at me.

Well i did manage to work out all the way until it came to the jogging part, ohhh boy was my body really frus with me, i look out and woaa its hot but i would just go and jog, sweat and be satisfied with my jog but today is not the same, i am not motivated to even wear on my shoe at all, after exercising,i would usually just slip on my jogging shoe and take off but today it took me sometime to get my mind straight.

I was going to crack anytime soon because i dont see many change in my physical self especially my tummy, hopping that after so long of sit ups, leg press, crunching, push ups, weight lifting, doing the superman and plank, i though i would be looking at a smaller tummy and more muscular one but to my frustration i just saw the same tummy but with a bit skinnier.

So my body keep telling me that you've been in this for 5 weeks now and there is still no change and i was abit worried cause usually there should be a change by now. So i panic and faster called my friend Albert and tell him my story and amazingly i finally figured out that i was not motivated enough today, so simple he told me this.

'Ok kenneth, its only been like what? 5 weeks, yes you would expect drastic changes but you did not. but dont look too much now, you wont regret later in the future, so just presevere and carry on. I mean if you ask anyone they would tell you that you've changed alot.'

waoo after hearing that i was touch and recharged but still a bit down, so i slipped on my shoes and went to the park. Whilst i was doing my warm up, again i was bombarded by negative toughts, in fact i wanted to break down right there in the park but i just took my time, breath the cool air in the hot weather, then i just unknowingly started to pray to GOD and i felt like he was in the wind<>

When i was ready, off i went jogging with my usual 10 rounds but boy was it tough cause with your body felling detiorated and negative minded, it was very hard to keep myself on track and to just going on. After 10 rounds, phew was i poofed cause of the hot weather, i sweat more than usual.

But i found out that i need to have patience and presevere in this things to benefit myself in the future, eventhough i dont see any drastics changes now but in the future i am sure i will see a change and be satisfied with what i did in the past.

Testing my patience to the LIMITS

Haaa another week of another month of another day of another year has come, yes it is almost the end of July and i have so much fond and beautiful memories and experiences in life that i have encountered throughout this month. I look back now and say tell myself good job in holding on tight on hard times and of course succesfully defeating depression everytime it arises, haa i am really happy with my accomplishments.

Well back to my post, yup patience the one thing we humans much really REALLY REALL practice, in this fast paced world where everything must be instant and in a hurry, to be patient in everything is very difficult especially waiting upon someone special. But the best to wait upon is none other than GOD, he make it seem so much easier to wait upon him than the world.

My week this time is really strecthing the limits of my patience and total confident in GOD. This week was also a week full of excitement, remember i told your in the last post that i am going to ask the girl to be my prom date, well i succed in asking her yesterday and it seem like the hardest time in my life to talk.

As usual i was abit afraid but i pulled my guts together and ask her whether or not she want to go to prom with me and that i am willing to pay her. Well she was normal, she smiled, giggled a bit and blush, and told me see first. I replied by telling to take her time in thinking about it.

Well the waiting part is the most patience testing time and most worrying time cause what if she say no in the end, what if she just doesnt care at all? So this is all the question that arises when i am waiting for an answer because i see prom night as my last resort into forming a relationship with her, when all else fails that is my backup plan. Well its only day two but i just cant help the fact that what if she has totally forgotten about it? well i can t speculate.

But this is really testing my patience and seeing how patience i am in this kind of things and to see how confident am i in seeing how i do in this situation, am i positive and confident or will i lose out and be negative about the result.

Well that where the beauty of patience comes, the end result sometimes comes to be what you want it to be and sometimes its just not what you want it to be.

This will benefit in the future as now i know how i really react to this kind of situations and at least i know how to handle this situations better in the future.

I am hoping things will for once go as planned

Ahhh Prom, a day where all senior of my school will met and celebrate our last year together as form 5's and our time to graduate and move on.

Well i am so privileged to have parents who are willing to pay for my prom, it's not that cheap, cost about rm160. But thank God they are so loving and caring and giving their full support.

I have to testify that my mom is the best mom in the world, she is really giving me full support, i ask her if she can sponsor a bit for my prom and she agreed and the best thing, she said money is not a problem, ma will support you 100%. Wow how blessed and privileged am I to have a mom like that.

Well back to my title, Prom is coming soon, its in December but now everything is going like hotcakes to get a prom date and of course so am I. I am currently going to ask this girl, as first i though see whether she goes to the prom and then maybe ask her to be my date then on the dance floor but things are bit hurried when one of my concern friends told me that the girl already has a date, MY JAW DROPPED AND HEART CRACK.

But after thinking for a while, i realize that whatever she is saying is just a rumor and she even confirm with me its just a rumor. So i was calm and wont go into speculating, I decided that i will ask her myself whether she is going to prom and thus letting me know the real truth of whether she already has a date.

I waited after CF to ask her and so my heart was calm, i am as cool as a cucumber, went up to her and ask her whether she was going for prom and to my delight she is undecided whether or not to go prom, Phewww what a relief. Boy was i glad about it.

Then i figured out, now would be the best time to ask her for prom, money no problem, enough for me to pay for both of us. And of course i fear that she would be asked by someone else first and i would lose her, this is my only one chance to ask her for the prom and thing are rush into this kind of situation because i am afraid i will lose her to someone else and another thing the price for prom will be going up in another two weeks.

I am hoping that this time i will succeed in asking her as my prom date. I pray God will grant me this request.

I have only been on earth for 17 years now

Hi, today is Thursday, praise God for Thursday.

Today i was down and out, let everything out last night, just praying to God to cleanse me and heal me and he did, in fact his presence was so strong that i could feel him hugging me and comforting me.

I was still a bit down and out all the day until recess, as usual i was sitting with one of my friend Albert eating our food and i shared with him why i am not my usual happy positive self today. I told him and he told me something that just hit me as i am writing this.

He told me look at how old we are, we are only 17 years old, we've only been on earth for 17 years and yet we feel like doing everything fast and want it now. We might not have a purpose in life right now but the purpose counts with the experience and thing we go through in our life's now and in the future.

It is true with what he said and it is very real, my generation now wants everything, see a girl you like, go for it. Want that stuff, go get it. There is never a planning or goal set in our life's that some times we miss out the more important things in life than chasing this things.

Well that all i can say for now. But today was a good day to reflect on, though i am suffering now, i should count it a blessing to suffer for God.

The day i cried, the rain fell

Hi, ok first of all this is not an emotional post, it is totally absurd and mean if you call people "EMO" and by this not to scold you guys i am doing this in a nice tone to let you people out there know, when you call somebody and "EMO", DO you know your already labeling him? Do you know your already judging him? Do know your only making things worse? well now you know, so please be kind to the hurts one, dont call them names but talk to them and hug them, show them that somebody cares.

Ok that's all, now back to my post, what do i mean when i title this The day i cried, the rain fell.

Well i am just going to be straight forward with this, I do cry some times, i don't know about you guys but there are times where i just need to cry it all out to feel better. Every time i cry, i feel cleansing in my heart and sometimes i don't either.

But whenever i cry, it is bound to be hold back up as we always tell our self that crying doesn't solve anything and we just keep storing up the pain inside. By this we feel our hearts begin to feel heavier everyday as if there is a black cloud over our heads.

Did you know that sometimes crying is a way God helps us clean our heart? Did you know that sometimes crying our heart out is a way God helps remove all the pain in our hearts?

So the next time you feel the pressure is too much and you need to cry it out, just cry it all out but please do it in a closed place like your room or even better get a friend to cry with you. That way you feel better and more prep to face the days ahead, well that i have to say today, till then God bless and take care.

Crying is define as the act of shedding tears as a response to an emotional state in humans.

Addicted to L.O.V.E

Yes its sad but true, i don't know about all you guys out there but i am addicted to Love.

I don't know whether me have this problem but there are times when i just wish i had someone special to hug and love, yes there is always that one moment. See the biggest weakness and tough part of being a guy is you constantly have to struggle on relationships, have to be patience when you want to get a girl, must be polite, must be gentleman, must be humble.

But being a guy also have its good parts like every time we fall, the girls never cease to pick us up and dust off the dust from us and push us on in Life's challenges, we persevere, we have passion, we have strength that is never ceasing, we press on in Life's never ending struggle.

Ok back to my point, i always yearn to have this wonderful feeling, that kind of feeling that makes your heart melt, your spirit soar high and your feel like in cloud nine. The kind of feeling that you get when you have that special someone to hold on, hug, kiss, and share the special moment. All lover birds out there should know what i mean.

Though i never had the chance to experience it myself, but i can feel it in a distant, the kind of feeling that literally change your whole being. But like they all say it is just a feeling but i guess its just who i am.

I took this personality test on how is my love life, and ok i know that some times this things are inaccurate but i think it really best describes me.

It says that i am a passionate lover, i cherish every moment i spend with that special someone, i ams loyal and faithful to that special someone and i am grateful and appreciate every moment i have with that special someone and many more.

I guess that i have to be patience on Love and relationship, though it might seem like every one is getting relationship, i guess i must take it slow in order for thing to turn out right. I have to be faithful in God to guide me to the right one, hopefully this FATS will go away soon.

Well i confess and admit that i am really addicted to LOVE, it might be the one thing i am constanly trying to find in my life but it is happening like a puzzle, slowly solving the picture and revealing the picture in whole when it is done.

I regret that i did not try to start things earlier with the girl but God's timing is always perfect, only he knows whats best for me. Only he can know who that special someone is for me, you know a lot of people say that we should sit back relax and let God lead that someone special to you. I can tell you now it will never work.

You first have to take the first step by making as many new friends as possible, guy and girl.

Here is one thing i learn that we should do if we like a girl,
1) never walk up to her and tell her I LOVE YOU, you will freak out the girl and she might not like you or maybe even know you, she will probably be thinking who is this weirdo.

2) take things slow, dont rush and jump into a relationship, be patient and get to know her first, that way she will slowly gain confidence in you.

3) dont try to be around her all the time, give her some space, if not then she feels like she is being stalked.

4) be a social active guy, show her that your a fun guy to hang around with and that your are a really nice, lovable and fun guy to be with.

5) BE PATIENT, i am stressing this because i have friends who keep asking me to faster get the girls phone number and faster form a relationship, yeah it might work but i will slowly and surely lose her, remember point 2 and of course you find it easier to communicate and interact with each other in the long run to come.

6) Be patient in hard times, dont pounce on the girl and let all hell break loose on her, when you are in a bad mood, take time to cool down and dont whin to them, when she is in a bad mood, this is a good time to cheer her up and maybe win her heart or prove to her you are the right gujy to be with her, this part is going to be alot more harder than me saying it.

7) Hygiene, cleaniness and manners. Keep yourself clean and smelling good, dont put too much deo, you dont want the girl to faint, make sure you bath proparly.

well that is all i can think of for now, so after seeing this, yes i am addicted to LOVE and want a girlfriend but i've got to be a better person first and prepare myself now for the love of my life in the future.

Trust me when i say, God knows the best thing in life for us and he has already prepare the best for us, you think the girl infront of you now is the most perfect but guess what if that relationship with the first girl does not work, you break up, you complain to God.

But believe me if you are patient and faithful, God will grant you that special someone and you will surely say waoo she more then i expected her to be. You see , i am sure you will say that God really knows what is best for us.

Thats all i have for now, God bless your days ahead, take care and dont forget to SMILE and be HAPPY and JOYFUL in the Lord.

"I though i knew what is best for me but turns out God plans my future thus making him know what best for me better than i do."

Life is always good, though there is up and downs

Hello and welcome again to my lovely blog, today i found out something very true in life again. It is ALWAYS GOOD even when it sucks at times.

I have feeling there will be people not agreeing with what i am saying but hear me out in this one.

Yes today is Friday, i was so happy cause i can finally get to chill back a bit after the super duper crazy tiring energy week. Today was as a usual day, woke up, did my quiet time, had a nice breakfast, a yummy half-boil egg, a piece of bread with butter and of course my favorite Vico with oats, emmm filling and nutritional.

So i was happy as usual, with a smile on my face when i hoped on my transport and went school, then the day started with the ringing of the school bell, kkkrrrriiinggg... my first few periods was ok and i was wide awake but after recess, i felt like a dead beat, i was so so tired, i can just sleep with myself standing up, ok a bit too dramatic but none the less school finally ended, YEAH now it is time for C.F, I love my school C.F eventhough there is always like 2 or 3 form 5's and a pool size worth of other forms' might be overwhelming but at least its good to see C.F growing steadily with the younger generations.

Then my mind today again was quite upset, dont know why it just came about, maybe cause of boredom and tireness, then the girl came to my mind, i haven spoken to her in like centuries and i though why not today i give it a try and talk to her cause we've been letting life have its course. So i went C.F earlier today to help my friend carry the super gigantic speakers but dont worry this new and imporved kenneth got some muscles, so piece of cake.

What was funny is that when we bought the speakers to the third floor of one of our school block, our teacher told us that we are moving to the hall, i was ok with it but my friend was having that face like huh now only you tell after 6 fligths of stairs, never the less we manage to carry it to the hall. After that he went to set up the P.A and i well was just whistling away, stoning and dont know what to do, then i saw that the usher needs more help, so i went to usher, went to tell people where C.F is and greet people to C.F

Hand by hands pass by me but the only one i was anticipating was the hand of the girl but you know what, Yes I did Not get to see her or even shake her hand, so i was ok, cool as a cucumber went to C.F and we had high praise, wonderful worship. Half way through we were singing and i started to look around, ahem konon neck need stretching, then i saw her. ahhhh, ok a bit to dramatic again but that did not stop me from worshiping God, i was more concentrated on the worship then her. So that was C.F, then we all went home, aww i hate leaving C.F

On my way out i went to take my yellow koku card, then there she was right beside, we were battling through the hordes of form 2,3 and 4 student, wahh they were like pirahnas swarming the little table with the cards, as i was going to reach out for the form 5 cards, though i help her take as well, out of nowwhere this hand came out and grab it first. I followed the hand and there i stare her straight in the eye and she smile and told me my card was there, so me being a GENTLEman, said thank you and took my card.

I faster took the card and at first she did not want to start a conversation and i was like not good, she must be upset i did not talk to her for so long, but then i continued anyway, we talk and talk until she went home. Said goodbye and waved to her.

Ok i forgot to clear the air first, yes it sounds like i am still trying to get her but i am taking it slow by being friends first. Ok clear done

Went back home and ate lunch, by then i was so tired and wanted to take a nap but i had to do my work out, so i got some minutes of rest and started to work out later, the usual sit up's, push up's, lifting weight's and jogging but the best part was when i was going to jog.

Today i had to do more than usual cause yesterday night i ate a bit too much. So instead of my usual 10, i plan to go 15 rounds because of time restrain, I could not do 20 rounds, the point is i would have not even manage 10 rounds my body would be aching like crazy, but today i felt great and fit to go 15 rounds especially when i was going uphill, ohh this is the first time i did not slow down so much. Was satisfied with my work out, FATS be GONE.

So my point is, you see the day i went through, so bless and lovely day, WHY?
1) eventhough i was super duper monkey king kong chili padi hot like crazy bigger than bigfoot tired, i still manage to gain my strenght to worship my Father in heaven.

2) I got to talk to the girl even though she did not want at first but we got back to talking like friends again soon.

3) I got to work out to the max today even with my tire body that is completely not fit and sweat the fats off.

4) I had such a happy day, no fuss, no depression, no anger, just Joy and peace in the Lord.

See Life is always good cause God meant it to be that way, it is us men who make it worse.
Maybe you can try these one day, dont start to complain over problems but just let life has it course, for that one day, try enjoying what you are doing and what your day is with friends and maybe a specail someone and i tell you, you will see things to become better for you, things would take a sudden twist and start looking up.

LIFE is always GOOD even when there is up's and down's because God made this day to be GOOD for EVERYBODY.

"Dear heavenly father in heaven, i pray Lord that whoever has read this blog will understand what i am tryin to mean and speak to them. I pray Lord that if anyone reaing this post is lost, depressed or even just upset over the day they spent, i pray Lord you show them what you've showed me, unconditional Love and everlasting Joy. I also want to pray Lord that those who want to have a good week ahead that they might try to look at the brigther side of life and enjoy what you have in stored for them, AMEN."

LIFE is never PERFECT but BEAUTIFUL

Yup as it says LIFE IS NEVER PERFECT BUT BEAUTIFUL.

Now i know i am getting a lot of huh? and i don't know what he saying? But hear or see me on this one, it is by far the best quote i can think off, better than the rest before.

I came to realize when i started to post this, I am so tired cause of the week. Phew can literally sleep all i wan but cant because banyak homework and assignment to finish up. Well today is thursday, wohooo tomorow friday, got CF, clap clap clap. I love my CF.

So more about today, as usual GOD is good all the time and all the time GOD is good. Praise and glory be to GOD because today i was having quite and emotional battle today, trying very hard to fight back dedpression as usual, strubbon little thing, wont die off wan. Then add on all the boring lessons today, i can die of boredom and depression, but thank God for friends, we were literally laughin the whole day today, making jokes and playing a fool.

Then again my sad feelings came up, WHY cant the girl talk to me? that was what keep coming up to my mind because i haven talk to her in 3 weeks, give or take. On top of that, seeing myself again, i look back to the past again, hate all this flash backs and memory, wish i can delete it but oh well I somehow manage to fend it off but i was super duper tired.

Looking back i realise one thing today, i somehow realise Life is never perfect, things never seem to go your way or the way you want it to, like i say i want to talk to the girl but things just get in the way, want to have a happy day, turned out gloomy for a while. Dont wan so much homework, got quite a sum, essay...essay...essay...EST.. oh man. Want to take a map today, can only afford 20 minutes cause banyak homework to complete.

Well it might seem like it was a tough day, like i say Life is never perfect but it is beautiful, wanna know why?

1) At least the girl and i still smile and wave to each other, still friends,Good.

2) Class very boring, but interesting facts and fooling around to brighten up class, i am the class clown by the way.

3) Had a great fellowship with friends today, just laughing the whole day long

4) Manage to be happy for half a day in my life.

5) God bless us with a nice weather, no need to sweat like a PIG, ahaha

6) Friends are seem to be getting closer to me now, Praise and glory be unto God.

7) The new me changes everything that happens around me.

8) Got to jog and sweat, hopefully the middle kingdom(big tummy) will slowly shrink down

9) Never got scolding from teachers at all today, my school teachers are emo people wan, but pray God blas...ahem bless and love them too.

10) Manage to cheer some people up, made their days, made them happy.

See what i mean, God bless me so banyak, it overflows, the trouble and suffering is there, yes but look at the blessings and good side of life. Now you know what i mean when i say LIFE is never PERFECT but BEAUTIFUL.

Keep this in my mind, dont look and grieve on the sorrow part of life but enjoy and thank God for the good side of life, its like a lollipop, the one with the sour powder wan, we slick off the sour part first, then comes the sweet part, same thing as Life, we must endure hardship and pain in Life but at the end there will always be something good happening to you, you just need to open up your eyes and ears to the present, Stop sulking i the past.

So the one sure formula in Life: STOP LOOKING at the PAST and ENJOY the PRESENT.

"LIFE IS NEVER PERFECT BUT BEAUTIFUL"

"Dear heavenly father, I pray that anyone who read this post will be bless seven folds for the rest of their week, I pray that if the person reading this post is going through depression or having a hard time, I pray now in the name of Jesus, set them free!!! Bless their soul, heart, mind and body, may your love shower upon them like never before, let them cry their sorrows out and look to you as their solution, I pray that every person who read this post will enjoy the rest of their day to the fullest and I pray again Lord bless them seven folds for the rest of their days, IN JESUS NAME I PRAY, AMEN."

How to make your day happier? very easy!

HOW TO MAKE YOUR DAY HAPPIER? this will be the common questions people ask on a gloomy day. Well i have found out a few ways that might work but of course it is not 100% proven to work on everybody.

Well lets have the first scenario:
It is Monday, your a guy, nothing much to expect in school(can replace with own place of conduct), single and don't seem to see any good in this day.
In seeing this, HOW TO MAKE YOUR DAY HAPPIER. Easssyyy,
1) kick that Monday blues habit, slap it off and tell yourself its Monday, i should start the day off with a happy heart.
2) Try to list out some interesting things to do like getting to know a girl or guy, doing good deeds, going for sports.
3) If you are a christian, Pray for God's blessing and joy to be upon you, Pray for a different heart and mind. Pray for the everlasting Joy and Love of God.

Ok if you think none of that can work, then there is one thing that you need to change to MAKE YOUR DAY HAPPIER.

CHANGE YOU MINDSET, STOP LOOKING IN THE PAST AND ENJOY THE PRESENT.

You know a friend told me that everytime we look at the past, we tend to miss out the good things in the present. SO kick the past away and enjoy what we have now, yes sometime it sucks, but just live with what you got.

Stop the depression from taking a hold of your life. everyone was meant to lead a happy and joyfull life, Everyone is blessed by God with a great day, enjoy it.

WE ONLY HAVE ONE LIFE, MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT.

WE ONLY CAN LIVE THE DAYS ONCE, MAKE FULL USE OF IT, LIVE IT OUT.

WE WAKE UP, IT IS ANOTHER DAY, A NEW CHAPTER, FORGET THE PAST AND MOVE ON.

What a run this week!!

Hello and welcome to my blog once again, here i am again with yet another interesting and meaningful post, not emo one, i have changed.

Its another day in another week of another month of another year but this year was my year of challenge and also victories in life. As you all know i am a changed man now, i am happy and grateful in everything i have and i am very positive minded now.

This week however proves to be one of the more interesting and challenging week compared to the rest. This week i face yet again another challenge in life, I got a revisit by the demon of depression, yes he was back but thank God he was there to help me slain it, although he manage to get a hold of me for an hour or so, God once again saved me by being there for me.

This week the challenges that i face was to be wise in everything I do especially when i have an argument with a sibling, it takes a lot more humility and humbleness to calm down and think twice before speaking, now that is wisdom. Also, i had some problems in school, thought the pressure and stress was high, i manage to look to God for shelter from the bombardment of the world. Another thing is with GIRLS, yes i made a stupid mistake by trying to find a relationship, and it is very funny cause i can imagine Adrians voice right now probably saying:"See God sudah cakap jangan, you still want, Ok now he let you try, you sow what you reap..." HAHA no offence adrian if your read this, your still a great leader and bro in christ.

Somehow this girl was playing with me , when i started off by getting to know her, it was ok, she like me and i like her, She was very open, she laughed, i laughed, could see something was going on but nothing can beat this, I CAN NEVER UNDERSTAND GIRLS, they are so confusing and weird, no offence. First we were so close and she was so open to me and getting closer to me but all of the sudden she backs off me, and i was ok, its alright no problem, some space is good for the both of us but its very confusing as in What is she thinking about? and How does she want this to go? So i very sad, confused and lost but yet again thank God for mom's and of course his glorious wisdom, my mom manage to solve my problem, very easy she say, now the girl is playing hard to get, so reverse psychology, you do the same thing, back off and give her some space, she dont want to talk, fine. Just smile and wave but dont shun her off, it would be rude, in a way you may make her miss you. And i was like, so thats how things go, interesting.

After seeing, i plan to study on girls after graduating from psychology, it would be both benefical and interesting, we are both the same species just different gender but yet we dont seem to think the same and act the same, interesting?Bottom line, i am great right now cause deep down i know i am not going to get a relationship, i am just going to be friends, which by the way is much more cool and who say single is drag? Being SINGLE is SEXY, haha, bit too much.

Anyways moving on, today i was so filled with dissappointment for failing God and of course many more problems but God is always sovereign and great, I prayed for forgiveness and he did forgive and ask him to help me go back to the root of true joy that is him. And he did help me by blessing me with jogging, yes jogging with a childhood friend name Lee Yew Leung, a great guy, he teaceh me so much and i did'nt know so many interesting things about jogging and the methods and so son but the greatest part when he decided to help me push the limits, instead of my daily rounds of 10 rounds, he challenge me to go 20 rounds.

So i said yes, no harm right, boy was it tiring but the best part was that he was there to cheer me on and guide me, which was fantastic. He standing and jogging beside me is a 15 year old kid who is an althletic by the way, guiding me how to jog and teaching me, i felt great to be humble and learn from him. After the 20 rounds, i was happy because finally i achieve something that i wuold never have accomplish in my life. Joy was there as i left home and the last words he said really make me tear cause none of my friends would say this :"Ok see you ken, it was a PLEASURE jogging with YOU." I was so touch to know that at least i made someones day and know that someone still acknowledge my presence, not to say all my friends dont, just that this things rarely happen to me.

After going home, i decided to tag along with my mom in her daily walk at the park for protection prupose, so there was my mom, speed walking around the field as i take a slow and comfortable and was what beast is that i felt Jesus walking beside me, How COOL is that? Imagine JESUS right beside me, talking to me, i felt so blessed and happy. Today was such a blessed day.

In conclusion, though there was many trials and challenges, though i fell many times, God was there to forgive and forget and guide me on, He even blessed me, what and awesome God we serve, He love me so much, he even send true joy and happiness to me, he even make things appear a lot easier in my life now, he blessed me so much that i cant contain it anymore, the song one day keeps playing in my head. such and indescribable, wonderful and loving God we serve.

"SO BLESSED I CANT CONTAIN IT,
SO MUCH I WANT TO GIVE IT AWAY,
YOUR LOVE TAUGHT ME TO LIVE NOW,
YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH FOR ME"

I run for GOD, I live for God, I do everything for GOD

HELLO fellow bloggers, it is I again, yours truly KENNETH WONG, clap clap clap, chee perasaan, haha.

Any hows I realize one more thing in life, everything I do it I do it for God, I run, jog, eat, sleep, shower, and everything else, I do it for God and also God's will. When ever i do something and i pray over it, it feels easier to do and I find it very meaningful and it makes a whole lot of difference knowing that God is there for me.

And it feels great being my new person now, I live everyday fresh and full of love to give to and of course being happy and joyful for the lord is with me. I will from now try to spread the love of God as far as possible and of course i will help those who are in need with the help of my Father in heaven.

How awesome is him to heal my broken soul and to give me a new heart and mind, my words could not express the miracle that happen to me. I will make sure that my friends will experience the healing and loving power of God because there is no one on earth that could do this except God.

"IT MAKES A DIFFERENCE KNOWING GOD IS THERE WITH US"

Being positive is the best thing to help others

Hello fellow bloggers, i notice one thing very interesting and wonderful in my life.

I notice that when i finally put to death the demon of depression in my life, GOOD RIDDANCE once and for all, somehow last time it decided to go for a holiday break. But this time i put it to death for good once and for all, i am a new being now.

I am so thankful that God has made me fresh a new, now my friends say that they are glad that i am back to my positive self again, the Kenneth they knew earlier in the year and also one more thing is that i could stand a chance to help others who are also going through this stage of depression in life.

I think that somehow all of us will go through depression in one stage or another, it is a good stage as there is a very good explanation behind it, remember the heart i drawn and post it on one of the post, well the heart show as an overall is the surface area of our emotional life and we fell depressed because there are some sediments or deep dark stored away feelings that needs to be cleaned, so if we all manage to persevere, we will be able to clean our heart and change it a new.

And i think the only way we should help a depressed person is to talk to him, listen to him, NEVER JUDGE him because its very cliche to him, help him solve his problems, help him let everything out and of course pray together as a whole that God will cleanse his heart through this process.

Be positive to someone is the best thing we can do to be nice and cheery, the moment we make someone happy or lifted his burden, the glory be to God and you have saved someone's day.

GOD + JOY + FAITH = HAPPYNESS IN LIFE

Jesus loves me the most, My mom loves me the best

They say a woman can melt a mens heart but a Mom can heal a broken heart and that is so true.

As you all know by now that i have turn over a new leaf, being my positive self everyday, seeing each day as a blessing and of course not moaning anymore of the past but being grateful and appreciating the small things in life.

My week has been awesome and wonderful, so many new experiences and teachings in life, one great thing about God is that he never cease to teach and guide. I was having th time of my life, thought there are projects and homework and studies, the Lord never cease to be there for me and guiding me through everything in life.

Today is by far the most interesting day ever, i was happy the whole week and never want to cease being joyful in the Lord but today i face one major challenge and i am a bit shy to share this part, just know its a big task and i failed to accomplish the task but i still manage to look it over and take it easy, look things over and cheer myself up and the first time i manage to fight back depression by the good grace of God.

But somehow the depression kept knocking on my door and once in a while it will kick back in, so i prayed and asked God to help me, Lo and behold when i was doing my homework and chatting, my mom was online, so we had a nice chat like all mom would do with her son.

My mom was so good at comforting me and guiding me on, she loves me so much that no matter how many times i say i failed, she would encourage me to be stronger and persevere. At the end i felt this was God's help beacon for me, my mom was the person who i would think last to see about this challenge that i failed but what i did not know, is that she is the most understanding and caring person on earth towards me.

So next time if you have any problem, seek your mom for help, talk to her and just chat, who knows she might even help you solve your problem.

"OUR MOM IS OUR CLOSEST AND BEST FRIEND, WHOSE LOVE IS UNCONDITIONAL TOWARDS HER CHILD, SHE WIPES OUR TEARS AND PICK US UP WHEN WE FALL." Amen

Wow what a day it is with a new heart, spirit and mind

Good tidings to you fellow blog viewers, i am here once again with another post.

It is yet another week and day of my life, this week seems to be different that the rest of the week.
Why you ask? Because i have God with me there all the way, for the first time in my life, i am not sorrowful and in depression but what is most exciting is that God has reveal so many new things in my life.

In this week, i was able to experience the new me, that is now, i was never so changed and renewed, now everyday i am able to fulfill my quota of study and still have time for exercise and by God's good grace i was able to lose weight. The most exciting part is when i went jogging, i was persevering and patience.

Not to brag but this is the first time i was able to jog non stop, although there are times where i would slow down and do a slow jog but the best part of is there was time i wanted to stop and just walk somehow i did not stop, i kept on going, i went down all the way to the temple, went down hill some more and then non stop all the way uphill.

Dont know why but i just did not want to stop, i want to keep going but my legs could not anymore. Woa i have to day God was there with me all the way, giving me push, some how i feel him right beside me and coaching me on and giving me support.

All in all this week is a very blessed day and he has been so good to me, giving me comfort and guidance but most of all showing me love and compassion, when i want to be emo, i just look to him and instantly i am better, i have defeated the demon of depression in me.

I am change because of him and i believe he has many things installed for me.

Everyday is a new day, the old has gone the new has come, be glad in it and rejoice.

This is the day that the Lord hath made and i will REJOICE and BE GLAD in it

Hello fellow blog readers, here i am today again with another post but todays one will be a positive and good one.

I have finally found the happiness that trespasses all understanding, you don't know why but you are just happy because God has yet again once amaze me and touch my soul and with a little help from my friends, i manage to turn that emo self of mine into the happy positive KENNETH that i am always.

My friend Dillon wrote this something very true and realizing to me , when i started to tell him why i was depressed and sorrowful, he gave me all ears and gave me comfort but best of all, he understand me and taught me a lot through his e-mails and messenger.

He told me that every time we are depressed, we tend to think about the past but Christ has made a new being, the old has gone, the new has come. When we tend to keep looking back to the past, we tend to miss out the Good things that God has prepared for us in the present.

So through this simple words, i was able to revive myself again and God has help filled that void with unconditioning love and true joy. It is very true that when you learn to let go the past and move on, you will see that things around you start to get better.

When i finally stop being emo, start to appreciate the present and little things in life, i notice i am doing better than ever before, i have manage to live a life that is full and prosperous. By God's good grace, i was able to loss weight and slime down, i am able to do things i have never done before and i have been blessed so much.

Praise and glory be unto our God which is so merciful and caring to the lost and sinful, just remember this, when you feel your struggling all alone and feel left out, GOD LOVES AND CARES TOO MUCH ABOUT YOU TO LET YOU GO, Yes he is the only one who truly understands and loves us.

If you have any problem, pray to God, he knows what we are going through.

"Life can be a struggle but how we face the struggle determines the outcome of our day"

Something is still missing

Today is Sunday and we had awesome worship with Adrian leading us, James as the bassist, Sue yin as the pianist, Lai yi May and Alysha as the praise singers and of course yours truly as the drummer, i have to say this is the first time i played so well and gang huo, the rolls were solid and the beats constant.

I felt awesome being able to play like that for God but somehow there is still that void in my heart and the sermon today was good and interesting but it did not manage to touch me a bit. I went back home and though to myself, is that void still there? Yes it is, Is that dry part of my heart still there, Yes it is.

To tell the truth, my body is weak and keeps yearning for a relationship, every moment when i am in thoughts, the first thing i think of is about relationships, somehow i manage to control it and do my projects.... zzzzzz

After finishing my quota, I did a bit of exercise and work out but somehow the though just keep coming back, no matter how filled i feel, there is bound to be that dry part of my life. Judge if you want, talk about my failures if you want, i am still human, i have feelings, all this caused frustration and my day did not turn out quite well.

It rained when i was half way playing basketball and i cant enjoy my basketball today because of the frustration that keeps going through my mind, when we finished playing in the rain, we went back home and i was walking home, again the frustration kicked in and i was furious at how my life was!

But when i think back again, i remember telling myself that we are all blessed in different aspects of life, like my drums and although i might not have a life of a teenager, i still got to make do with i have cause lamenting over it wont solve my problem.

I still have that dry spot in my life which is longing to be filled and i know God can only cure it.

I have many experiences in my life but i am reluctant to share it because mostly i would not be heard or corrected and that has inflicted a fear of ignorance in my life but i don"t blame anybody as i also have failed to lend a listening ear to everybody else.

Whatever i am going through it is for benefit of my future, suffer now prosper in heaven.

When there seems to be no way, God will make a way

Hello people. firstly i would like to apologize for being so down and depressed this few days, truly sorry for being so emo also but now i feel very happy and enlighten by the grace of God. He has once again never seem to amaze me and make me go "WOW"!

Today i woke up all mourning and full of sorrow, i thought i was going to go through another day of misery and sorrow but the Lord never cease to brighten up my day. Today at school was very relax and going easy, i was able to complete and submit all 30 ICT projects of mine to teacher for the lembaga people to check, hopefully i get a good review from them, one task down.

But that was not what made my day this day, what truly turn my sorrow into joy was at CF. The whole day i was thinking of skipping CF, go home and take a break but somehow God is so amazing, he manage to convince me to stay back for CF, he gave me a hope that something different was going to happen today.

So after school, i went to CF. Today CF we were split up morning session in one room and afternoon session in another, so I though "Well here goes another day..." but just when i though it was going to be the same, remember the girl i told you about. She usually comes to CF but i rarely get to speak to her and somehow she was sitting behind me alone, at first i was like dont care at all but one part of me says this is the perfect time to get to know her but my heart could not stop jumping in excitement and fear.

What if i screw up? Thank God for my good friend Albert, if it were not for him to encourage me and show me support i would not have gone to talk to her but when i wanted to talk to her, i gave an excuse that there were too many people around, out of the blue the people around her suddenly moved out of the way, then my friend went:"Go now, just be yourself and talk to her, its the perfect time, go on come on, GO ON." He tried pushing me but he was not strong enough but when i finally got the courage to speak to her, the mc for the day announce the starting of CF, i was oh man i blew it.

A few moments pass by and Thank God he gave another chance, the worship leader asked us to shake one another's hand and wish them "God Bless", so i got the courage to shake her hand and talk to her, amazingly this is the first time a girl that i like actually talked to me, she even replied and ask me things. I don't know but through this i feel like there is still hope for me in a relationship but i wont be hasty and jump into that yet, I will be patient and careful not to scare the girl.

God is so amazing, i remember praying that he would guide me and change my days, he answered it. I pray he help me lift the cross of life and he did, even better he blessed me some more. How great is our God? no one on this planet would have plan out something so nice and perfect for me, no one could have understand what i was going through except Him and no one could have loved me more than him to bless me so much even though i went astray, what a awesome God we serve.

Take time off and pray in any situations, when hard times struck you, its even best to pray cause God will be there waiting to bless you and help you.

I was once blind but now i see
I was once down in sorrow but there is the sun
I was once broken but now healed
I was once lost but now am found

Somehow it does not seem to fit?

Hi people, today i got a very sad post to share.

I am 17 now, i am in my SPM year, i have been walking in the face of this earth for 17 years now with God, there are times of failure and little of upraising, i am prideful sometimes wishing i was that guy who have a greater life but God has placed me here as he has plan.

I live in a beautiful world but i dont seem to see the beauty of it, i have gone through too many trials and heart ache that the scars have burn deep in me. I can cry, i can whine, i can get stressed up but nothing will change, i can comfort myself, people can comfort me yet i still dont change.
I have changed pass the years but i will never be good enough for anyone.

I sat and though what am i lamenting for? Has life take a toll and set me as a yoke carrier than the farmer who reap what he has sown?

I do not know why i am placed in this position but all this pain accumulated pass the years that i have suffer, the failures, the fatal beatings of life, the ignorance, the silence, the loneliness, how i imagine i can go through it everyday of my life sometimes.

But what credit is there for a man who goes through all this but does not seem to get over it...
Some people understand and some people don't understand what is it that people like me are going through but people have to go through what they are going through in order to change.

Sometimes the pain kills but what use is there for me to write on, this will just be treated as another silly emo post.

Life does not seem to fit the way we want it, i don't know why life is like that? Maybe its just me, maybe its just another challenge in life but somehow i don't know how to fight back anymore.

My heart aches of the pain, my soul is weak and hopeless of trying, i feel like giving up but what use is giving up, i will go through it again another day.

I will just have to wait upon the Lord and pray that he carry the burden with me, the cross that i am lifting up everyday, following him, i pray he will be there to help lift the cross again and carry on.

When God says no, he means no!!

Welcome blog viewers again to my blog of the experiences i go through everyday of my life through God.

Today's blog is a bit sad, a little bit funny too. As some of you know i have a crush on this girl and i have been trying to get to know her but somehow the only thing so far we ever said to each other is Hi.

Well awkward as it may seem, i have a very good explanation behind this, first of all i only see her like once in a blue moon, although we are in the same school and block, we rarely see each other and the only time i can speak to her is in my chemistry tuition thats on Tuesday evening.

Another thing is, remember i said i prayed to God about it, well it seems that i am not really ready for this relationship cause every time i try to speak to her, there is bound to be something in the way, either there will be teachers in the way or friends.

So i got very frustrated and made my mind that today i will finally speak to her in tuition. I got back from school, ate lunch, bath and walk to my chemistry tuition, when i reached there the girl was not to be found(usually she would be earlier). So i was patient, i took my seat and wait patiently but to my horror another girl suddenly took the seat that the girl usually sit(which is next to me) and well there goes my chance to talk to her in class cause i cant be calling out to here cause when she came she was beside me about 2-3 people away. I was ok, i was positive that i will talk to her later after tuition.

I was determine, figured out what to say to her, got myself pumped up and ready, time pass by and tuition was going to finish when OUT OF THE BLUE i had this great urge to go to the toilet and take a pee. It was very serious but i wanted to talk to the girl but on the other hand i could not hold it any longer.

When tuition finally end, i was going to talk to the girl first but my bladder was going to burst any time soon, i wanted to talk to the girl but yet i need to pee real bad, so i took a chance i was going to talk to the girl first but then it came to my mind i cant concentrate with a full bladder, imagine the agony, so i faster went to the toilet first, maybe then i can catch up with her when i am done but to my horror again she left so fast today, ohhh man.

One part of me was disappointed and sad, this is when i heard a still small voice. "Kenneth, you asked me whether you are ready for a relationship, and i have answered, is it not obvious enough for you? I do not mean to hurt you like this but trust in me, I know whats best for you."

I was astonish because it is true, i am not ready because day by day he will sent this couple in my class in my way, they were fighting and giving each other the silent treatment and much much more yet my eyes were not seeing, my soul was not learning.

This was a another lesson in life learned well, God knows what is best for us, so lets just wait patiently upon him as it says in
LAMENTATIONS 3:25-27
25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him,
To the soul who seeks him.
26 It is good that one should hope and wait quietly
For the salvation of the Lord.
27 It is good for a man to bear
The yoke in his youth.

Hugs,
Kenneth Wong